I'm positively positive

Last weekend I got depressed. Normally I am a happy-go-lucky type of person who is generally an optimist... but I wasn't happy, I wasn't go-lucky (whatever that means) and I sure as shit wasn't an optimist. I wasn't myself at all.

I'm not sure why it happens, but every once in a while I let the weight of the world that has been piling on my shoulders come crashing down around me. I over-extend myself and instead of turning into the superwoman I think I should be, the one who can juggle everything, I shut down and do nothing. Then because I am a bit of a control freak and feel like I am not controlling my actions how I would like, I get depressed and do nothing but sleep. Yeah. That is the best psychoanalysis I can come up with for what happened.

Luckily I was in enough of a frame of mind to recognize that I needed to do SOMETHING to pull myself out of it before beginning my work week or I would never survive. Sunday night I swung by Karina the Russians place to borrow her DVD of The Secret. I came home and watched it while attempting to do homework and you know what? The stupid show actually really helped me out! I started telling myself little positive reinforcements and visualizing things happening the way I wanted!

Monday I was stressed because due to my comatose weekend of imitating a zombie, I hadn't finished my research paper or my math homework that was due the following day. I don't normally get out of class on Mondays until 8:30pm but I just kept telling myself all day "there is plenty of time. Don't stress, there is always plenty of time." So then Monday night my teacher lets us out of class 1 1/2hrs early so THERE ACTUALLY WAS PLENTY OF TIME! I couldn't believe it! I actually willed there to be enough time. Yeah, I was feeling pretty damn powerful right about then. I started trying to decide what to use my new found powers on next. Maybe for there to be food in my kitchen or my liquor cabinet to restock itself or maybe a free trip to someplace tropical!

I know it's only been a few days but so far there is still no food in my kitchen and I just looked and I am down to one bottle of wine. I'm giving the free trip about another week to materialize before I let go of the idea that I actually have the magical power to will things to happen. Actually, truth be told, regardless of having magical willing powers or not, it just feels good to be back to me. I like to be happy and I love to laugh. Whatever I can do, think or say to keep me feeling this way is totally worth it. Because if I don't want to be around myself, I'm pretty sure no one else would want to be either.

Yay for regaining my positive outlook!

Blogfully yours,

Summer