Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Finally! A Haircut We Can Both Live With!

The hair, it was a flyin' at my place last night!

I would like to go on the record with saying that I do NOT recommend anyone try this at home. Even with Jenn's professional grade electric shaver and our year of cat shaving experience, I still managed to get a few battle wounds.
But look how cute she looks in her little hooker boots, with her evil glaring eyes.

What can I say? I, like a lot of people out there, like my cat to be shaved.

Blogfully yours,

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Please do not report me for animal abuse

Truly, I had the best of intentions. You see, I have been getting my cat Aurora shaved 1 to 2 times per year for the past, oh I don't know, 4 years. I started out taking her to a vet/groomer where my best friend Jenn worked at the time. They would sedate her and she would wake up looking like a lion. It was awesome! But after Jenn left the vet and the "friends and family" discount was gone, we decided to start shaving Aurora as well as Jenn's cats on our own.
For some reason last night was the night that I felt she HAD to be shaved. Only problem was, Jenn has the fancy-shmancy professional clippers and she was not available. So I decided to pick up a pair and give it a whirl myself, and by myself I actually mean with the help of Karina the Russian.
I know I look evil in this picture... But believe me, we are both MUCH happier when she is shaved. I get to de-hair my place and she gets loved a whole lot more due to the fact that I don't get a handful of hair every time I pet her.
Truth be told I'm lucky my neighbors didn't call to complain once we got started. Cats are not easy to wrestle, even if they love you, they do not want to be restrained (go figure). Ultimately I think the problem was that I only spent $35 on clippers. They gave out about 2 strokes into the hair cut.
But we kept on trying...

Poor kitty looks like a cross between a chemo patient and a road kill victim. I feel like the mom who cuts her kids hair crooked and makes them go to school anyway. Good thing she's a cat and can't feel embarrassment or she might hate me forever.
I sent this picture to Jenn and she felt sorry for my cat and is coming over tomorrow to help me finish shaving her.
Thank god for friends who are willing to help you shave your... cat.

Blogfully yours,

*Please note that I did not make one dirty joke throughout this post. I'll leave that for you.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Getting Out of The Car

There are few things better than the first true sunny spring day at the park. I work a few blocks away from Liberty Park and I often spend my lunch breaks there eating in the car. Rarely have I ever gotten out of the car, but yesterday was different. The sun was out and I couldn't bear the thought of not soaking it in - fear be damned! I spotted the perfect location, a gazebo out in the middle of the pond. No one was sitting there. It had my name written all over it. I exited my comfort zone of confined car door walls, and started the short walk over to my lunch destination. Walking along in my business attire, sharp heels aerating the lawn as I stepped on the moist grass. I felt the soft breeze swirl around me and wished I had the sense to pack a light jacket. I had been so excited to hear that the temperature would be in the 70's that nothing else mattered, outside of wearing the new sleeveless spring top I had purchased 3 weeks prior.

I continued on, walking across the wooden and steel bridge, then carefully stepping around, so as not to wake, the nesting geese. I choose a bench in the sun. Ah the sweet warm sun. Soaking it up for a minute before opening up my sandwich. A flood of memories of all the times I had come to the park and never stepped foot outside my car, except to deposit my trash, came rushing to me. I used spend 3 to 4 lunch breaks a week sitting in my car talking to the foreign man of my affection. "So, what are you having to eat today? Sandwich? So predictable."

On the park bench, hearing the birds call to each other and watching the clouds lazily float by, felt different. I felt alive, like I was finally living in the moment not dreaming of moments that would never be. I closed my eyes while taking in several deep breaths. When I opened them and once again became aware of my surroundings I took out my predictable sandwich and savored every last bite taking comfort in the fact that today, I was not predictable. Today I got out of the car.

Blogfully yours,

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My First Herb Garden!

In celebration of 2 days ago (4/20) I planted my first herb garden! OK, that is a total lie... I mean I did plant the herbs, but they are all of the legal strain and it was simply a coincidence that I did it on or around the same date.

I had stopped by a friends yard sale and there was this cute little herb kit for sale with pots, seeds and a book that tells you all about growing a herb garden. I asked her how much and she told me because she loves me, it was free! Score! Only one problem, it didn't come with dirt or potting soil... whatever you want to call it. Luckily, I knew a place to score some dirt.

"Hey Mom? Can I score some of your dirt? You know, the good stuff?"

"You are so odd sometimes. It's in the garage, you'll have to have your father cut the bag open."

Apparently my parents score the good stuff in bulk. I'm talking Costco size bags (yes that was plural) of potting soil. But hey, I'm not complaining because I got my free dirt to plant my free herbs. It's all about free love baby... or something like that. I was never much of a hippie, so I'm not sure...

Anyway I have been told that it is very hard to grow herbs from seeds and I haven't read the book that came with it, so any herb growing advise you have let me know!

Blogfully yours,

Monday, April 20, 2009

Table For One

Sunday I had planned to go to brunch with a friend of mine but at the last minute she had to cancel. I took one look in my cupboards, opened and promptly shut my fridge then grabbed my keys, off to find some "real" food. I spend the most of my lunch breaks eating alone, so what's Sunday brunch alone, right?

I get to the restaurant, request not to sit at the bar, and am seated next to a large table of bikers who are finishing up. When the waitress finally notices me she greets me, "Oh hey there. Sorry, I didn't see you. Are you eating ALL BY YOURSELF?"

I refrained from being a smart-ass, mainly because her shocked expression caught me off guard. Truly I am OK with eating alone. I'm a very independent person and if I want eggs, by damn I'm gonna pay someone to cook me some!

Politely I told the waitress, "yes, I am dining alone. Can I please have some coffee?" I think the waitress must have been slightly embarrassed or maybe my single-dining-ness made her uncomfortable because after that she came by as little as possible and didn't say "boo" to me.

Is it really that uncommon of a thing to eat alone? Am I the only one doing it? Maybe I need to find less flakey friends... or God forbid, buy groceries. Who am I kidding? My friends are awesome flakes and groceries are overrated. I think the obvious solution here is to come up with better come back lines or brilliant stories to mess with the shocked waitresses. At least that will keep things interesting.

Blogfully yours,

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Get in on the AUCTION!

Some of you who know me know that I serve on the board of directors for the American Advertising Federation of Utah (AAF-Utah). We are the Utah chapter of a non-profit organization meant to bring the advertising community together. As a fund raiser to keep our club healthy and active we are holding a "Not-So Silent" online auction.

Here are the details:

  • ANYONE can participate! You don't have to be a member of the AAF-Utah, work in advertising or even know someone who is in advertising or a member of AAF-Utah.

  • There are all sorts of fun activities to do in and around Utah including: restaurant gift certificates, Zoo and museum passes, massages, yoga, permanent cosmetics, concert tickets, REAL SL tickets AND CHOCOLATE (just to name a few)!

  • Simply click HERE to get started! Follow the instructions listed on the left hand side of the site. You will need to register, so we know who you are, by emailing your name, contact information and screen (blogger/aol/gmail) name.
So what are you waiting for? Go check it out! and spread the word to friends and family!

Happy Bidding!

Blogfully yours,


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Superwoman Can't Fly Right Now, Check Back Tomorrow

Sunday I was Superwoman, my alter-ego. I spent the morning doing homework, work projects and other obligations. Then I took a break to meet up with my family at the park to hide Easter eggs for the nieces and nephews. After hiding eggs, I went for a jog around the park then shopping at Wal Mart (no body cares if your sweaty and slightly smelly there) for some essentials. After I got back home I swept my porch and vacuumed my floors and couches, then went strait back to studying. I even made it to bed before midnight.

Yes, Sunday I was Superwoman. But now, Sunday is long gone and I'm afraid Superwoman has flown the coop.

I am utterly exhausted. I have no idea how to keep going at the rate I have been going. I know I am not the only person to work full time and go to school, but I don't know how to keep going like this. I leave my house at 7:30 every morning and don't get home until after 9 PM most days. When I finally unlock my door, drop my bags to the floor and change into my pajamas, I am spent. I want to do NOTHING but that is not exactly an option and stupid perky Superwoman is not around, so I have to literally force myself to get things done. I look like hell, makeup can only do so much to hide the dark circles from lack of a good nights rest. I am just plain overwhelmed.
The only thing that keeps me going? Just 3 more weeks until this semester is done, then I get a break.

I can do this... with or without my flaky Superwoman alter-ego.

Blogfully yours,

Monday, April 13, 2009

It's Not the Same Thing

I convinced ED to come with me over to my sisters house on Friday night to keep me company while she did my hair (what can I say? Tuition is due and she does a fab job for cheap!). I did my best to explain to him that it would be fun. He could laugh at how silly I look, have a drink or two, we'll listen to music and gossip - a great time will be had by all!

Friday night comes around and ED picks me up. We are getting a bite to eat before heading over and he says, "You know, everyone agrees with me that it is kind of bull that I am coming over with you tonight."

"Everyone? You took a pole? With all of the guys at the gym? Of course they are going to say that!"

"No, the girls there agreed too! Listen, it's like if I invited you over to my buddies house to watch me play video games."

"So not the same thing! First of all, IF I were ever stupid enough to get myself into your hypothetical situation, which I would not, I know I would be flat out ignored whereas you, my darling, will be fully engaged into our conversation."

"Lucky me..."

ED ended up coming with me and in-spite of his complaining, he had a good time. He politely excused himself mid-way into our girl talk of concerts, embarrassing moments and reality TV shows, to watch The Best of Will Farell DVD with my sisters boyfriend. He did manage to snap a photo of us though.
See? Don't we look like we are having fun?

I suppose that men and women are just different. We enjoy good conversation and taking care of ourselves while men enjoy... um... Will Farell?

Blogfully yours,


Friday, April 10, 2009

Forced Positivity Does a Body Good

After surviving a crazy stressful week filled with deadlines, tests, taxes and barely avoiding a mental breakdown - I figure it is time I threw in some positive thinking via Grace in Small Things.

1. A sister who is also a hair dresser. Even though I'll be sitting in her kitchen tonight instead of a swanky salon, I get to drink wine and catch up with one of my favorite people.

2. No math homework this weekend!

3. Making peace with my cat.

4. The discovery of Indian food.

5. 60 degree weather on Sunday. I plan to take full advantage of it.

Perspective is a great thing. I have to remind myself to take on one thing at a time and that it helps if you mix in one fun thing in between the required things. For example, start with a glass of wine followed by paying bills. Then another glass of wine followed by homework then... well, you get the point.

Blogfully yours,


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Lunch Time Studying. I've Almost Given Up.

Apparently some men are much denser than I give them credit for. The following happened at a new coffee shop that a co-worker, who obviously hates me, recommended.

I'm feverishly studying at lunch - head down, books sprawled open, look of concentration on my face - when I was approached by a man on his way to the restroom.

"Excuse me", he says.

I look up from homework with an are you seriously going to bug me expression and grunt out a "yes?"

"So... you, um, studying?"

"Um... yeah."

"Oh... um... what 'cha studying?" Stepping closer to inspect my work.

"Math. Algebra." I say, using my I am not amused or interested in this conversation what-so-ever tone. Or at least that is what I was going for. But alas, he continued on.

"Wow. That looks... um... heavy."

With one final leave me alone look, I answer "Yeah", look down and continue trying to find out why in the hell it takes Sue 20 minutes longer to paddle her canoe upstream than it does Beth.

So I know I was really bitchy, but honestly it is just plain rude to come up and interrupt someone who is obviously trying to study. I don't know what more I could have done, short of hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my forehead, to let him know that I didn't want to be bothered.

I guess the quest to find a peaceful place to study while getting a bite to eat continues.

Blogfully yours,


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Excellent Babysitter, Horrible Mother

I watched my niece Brielle on Saturday for a few hours. We painted our finger and toenails (pink of course) while watching Spiderman and eating chocolate. I only have one "real" kid movie, and Bri didn't feel like watching it, so Spiderman was the next best thing.

Once we had our fill of all things unhealthy and we both started getting cranky for a nap, I called up Brielle's mom to come and get her. She cried when she had to leave. It was strangely satisfying to know that she had that good of a time.

I am obviously an amazing aunt/babysitter.

When it comes to my own demon child, my cat Aurora, I am not such a good mother. I honestly think she is either possessed or enjoys driving me crazy. She bitches (meows) at me non-stop. I pet her for a minute, but then she just goes right back to it. I let her out on the patio (I'm on a second floor and she is too chicken to jump) and she'll be happy for maybe 5 minutes then she is meow-meow-meowing again. She is getting worse too. She has now decided that I do not need to sleep. It is much more important to wake up at 3 AM to pet her. She will voice this in one of 3 ways: the traditional meowing, making noises by batting the blinds or opening drawers, and the very worst of all - licking my hair!
I have learned of only 2 things to make her temporarily shut her trap:

1) a squirt bottle of water. I keep one by my bed and one in the front room.

2) The vacuum. It will make her hide under the bed for at least a good hour.

But does it make me a bad parent/pet owner to use either method, just to get her out of my hair? It seriously makes me wonder what I would do with a screaming child! Right now I am considering hiring a pet psychic, THAT'S HOW BAD SHE IS! I just need to understand how to make her happy.

Blogfully yours,

Friday, April 3, 2009

At the risk of ruining my bad ass image...

I am a fairly sensitive person. Even when I was a little girl my mother would tell me that I "wear my heart on my sleeve". What's worse it that I am very in touch with my crying genes.

Sad movie? Watch out for the waterworks because there is no stopping them.

Emotional television show (Greys, Private Practice, Brothers & Sisters, etc)? I keep tissues by the couch because it's inevitable.

Country music? I had to boycott it because I would be driving down the street and almost get in a wreck because I couldn't see through my stupid tears! I hate country music.

Recently my crying genes got the best of me while at school. No, it wasn't over a test or out of frustration. It was because my math teacher, who I have had for 2 semesters in a row, shared the story of having to put her dog down because cancer had ravaged his body. We all knew that her dog was sick and that he was her world. She would often talk about it to some of us before class got started. So when I came into class to see her eyes red, I knew something was up. She apologized to the class in advance stating that she was sorry if she seemed distracted, then continued to share the story of bringing her beloved pet to the hospital, his final moments and even some pictures that her friend had taken of their last moments together. I bawled. I wasn't alone either. The entire female population of the class was crying and some of the guys too. Honestly, how could you not?

After it happened, I told ED the story. He called me a sissy. I couldn't argue. If by sissy you mean that I am in touch with my emotions and my heart reaches out to people who are hurting and the only way it knows how to do that is through ruining my make up, then yes, I am a sissy.

I know some people will think that it was unprofessional of the teacher to take up class time to share her story, and maybe it was. I didn't mind though. Teaching is about all she has. She is a single retired woman who teaches because she loves it and honestly she is an amazing teacher. She lost the companion who was always waiting for her at home. It seems a little heartless to complain.

"Sissy"-fully yours,


Thursday, April 2, 2009


Me: Hey babe, did you get a chance to read my post about going to the country?

ED: Yeah, I liked it.

Me: Oh sweetie! You are getting so good at giving the standard boyfriend answer instead of telling me what you really think! Have you been practicing?

ED (ignoring my comment): You were right about the comments. It's pretty sweet that the Kel person called me hot and she made me laugh when she said she wouldn't call me ED.

Me: Yeah, but unfortunately you are stuck with it now. You are ED!

ED: What if you called me Wesley?

Me: Wesley? Why would I call you Wesley?

ED: You know, "farm boy, fetch me that pail of water." "As you wish."

Me: Great Princess Bride reference babe and that would be appropriate... but I'm sorry, I named you ED and ED you will stay. We are past the point of no return.

ED: OK, but just remember, people thinking I have an erectile dysfunction or that I'm emotionally disturbed reflects poorly on you too!

Me: Noted. I'm still not changing your name.

ED: It was worth a try.

Blogfully yours,


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Netspeak: OMG WTF

I debated posting this at all, but decided I'd give it a try and see how the response was. I present to you, the first half of my cause analysis essay for English:

“LOL! OMG ur so funny! ROFL! When am I gonna c u nxt? WTF? Its been like 4ever! I miss my BFF! :)” For those of you who are not fluent in Netspeak, the literal translation would be: “Laughing out loud! Oh my gosh, you are so funny! I’m rolling on the floor laughing. When am I going to see you next? What the fuc0k? It’s been like forever! I miss my best friend forever! (smiley face)”

Netspeak, a form of internet/text slang used to shorten keystrokes through the use of acronyms, keyboard symbols and by abbreviating words (Wikipidea), is fast becoming one of the foremost communication tools among youth. What started out as a casual internet conversation tool between web programmers has grown to encompass email, instant messaging (IM), text messaging and most recently social networking sites such as Twitter.

It makes sense that as technology and our means to communicate advances, so should our written communication language. Unfortunately, to a large segment of the population, this is not the view shared.

There are several reasons for disapproval. First, the continuous use of Netspeak has had a negative effect on the spelling and grammar in children born from 1990 onwards. One teacher who was responsible for grading essay’s for the state, recently came across a paper in which the student simply wrote “IDK”. The teacher stated that she wasn’t sure what to be more worried about, the fact that the student didn’t write an answer, or that she was too lazy to write out the three words, “I don’t know.” (Matthews). Another teacher stated that the most common form of Netspeak she was exposed to came in the form of using “u” for you, “r” for are and “l8tr” for later (Jones).

Many fear that today’s youth will be ill-equipped for college or to enter the workplace when they come of age. Using abbreviations, along with spell check accepting common forms of Netspeak, is downplaying the importance of learning to spell. That is, until you need to hand write a correspondence or someone looks over your notes.

The second largest cause for concern is the decrease in proper verbal communication skills. Many find it is much easier to converse through the various forms of written Netspeak. The pain of rejection is lessened exponentially when it is served in a written format, making a look of disappointment and trying to interpret body language a thing of the past. People are simply forgetting how to communicate face to face, and when they do, improper dialog is getting worked into the conversation. Go to a mall or a Jr. High School and you will hear countless examples of Netspeak being used in verbal format. This may not be a problem when speaking among friends, but in business situations it can make one appear to be unintelligent or juvenile.


* If you are interested in the second half of this essay, write me an email ( and I will send it to you. Otherwise, your comments and constructive criticism on the topic are always welcome.

Blogfully yours,