Still haven't found what I'm looking for

I am on a quest to find the perfect lunch break study joint where I can get food, some peace and quiet and internet access. I have been rotating through 3 local coffee shops but hate that when I leave my hair always smells like toast for the rest of the day.

Downtown Salt Lake has a new incredibly beautiful library that I have heard is decent to study at, so yesterday I headed there. There was no street parking so I headed to the underground parking garage. I HATE underground parking! Is it just me or do they always seem like a murder scene? No one is around, every step you take echos, it is poorly lit... the man walking towards me with a baby stroller looks like he is going to pull a chainsaw out of it and start chasing me as soon as he gets closer. I have to remind myself that this is Salt Lake and not a slasher movie.

Anyway, parking at the library is free for the first 30 minutes and $1.25 for every 30 minutes after which seems a little steep to me. I walk down the hall where there are little cafe shops but realize quickly that you can not take food into the library with you so I pass them by. I walk through the metal detectors and it really is beautiful. Glass walls overlooking the city and the smell of old books. I start looking around trying to scope out a good place to hunker down for the next 45 minutes, carefully assessing the people around. I see no less than 4 (presumably) homeless guys hanging out. I head up a level to look for a more secluded area. I find a work station in the corner by a window. Shortly after I have all of my books out and am starting to add polynomials, one of the homeless dudes from down stairs comes and sits at a chair 2 desks down from me. No big deal until he falls asleep and starts SNORING very loudly. I breath deep, curse myself for not bringing headphones and keep working. Then snoring homeless guys buddy from downstairs comes and sits right across from me to read the paper. It's a public library, people can sit wherever they like, I get it. But I purposely found a place away from everyone and there were other empty desks close by so I start feeling like he did it just to fuck with me. I become a little paranoid and can't concentrate. All I hear is the snoring snoring snoring and I keep getting waves of the scent of cigarette smoke and dirty clothes from the guy sitting across from me who is intently studying a Sears ad like it is breaking news.

Finally I pack up my stuff and start to head out, half positive that the homeless duo are going to start following me, which of course they don't but it doesn't stop me from looking over my shoulder anyway. I feel like everyone is watching me as I walk out and I swear to you they were! I tell myself I am being ridiculous and if anyone IS looking at me it's just because they don't see many 6 feet tall women walking around and maybe I am a freakshow to them. I hustle out and as I am waiting for the elevator to go back to the slasher parking garage, another homeless guy who looks a little like Jesus, if Jesus had a lazy eye, won't stop stairing! I hit the elevator button again and sideways glance over and he is STILL stairing! Which if you are going to kill me fine, stair away. But if not, it's just considered rude! I finally make it to my car, pay the toll booth and head back to work.

After committing this story to words it is very apparent that I must have some serious fear of public places... or homeless dudes. Either way I don't think I will be going back to the public library anytime soon. I'll stick to the safety of my little coffee shops where I can see my car from the window thank-you-very-much. Obviously I am not cut out for life in a really big city. I'd be having anxiety attacks daily. I'm actually a little dissapointed in myself to be honest. I pride myself in being an independant bad ass chick. I don't like seeing myself as the stupid girl who when running from the chainsaw guy trips and just starts screaming while he keeps coming towards her. I want to be the girl who laughs in his face at his weak weapon then drop kicks him to the floor while yelling "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?" because that is what a bad ass chick should do.

Blogfully yours,
Summer