Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Single for the holidays blows

The time of year that all single women dread is coming up; "The Holidays."

I dwelled on this thought a little too long this weekend. I let my mind wander to the huge family Thanksgiving dinner as well as the Christmas celebrations with all of my relatives. The thought of being the only single one there, while my sisters and cousins all chase around their kids, makes me want to stay home and pull my fingernails out instead. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family. I just don't know if I have the energy to fake a smile and say the obligatory lines of "yep, still single. No, not really seeing anyone either. Yes, one day I'm sure I will find him. Yes, I realize I'm not getting any younger. Here is some salt, can you please rub it in this open sore?" Smile and repeat with the next well intentioned relative who is just trying to be nice.

Then there are all of the work related parties and New Years. New Years! I haven't been single on New Years in over 10 years! Somebody shoot me now!

Of course I called up Karina The Russian to listen to me bitch.

Karina: "Summer, Christmas is not about being with someone with a cock and balls! It's about being with someone you love. I will be your date! You don't need a stupid man!"

Me: "Yeah but you are dating someone now so you are going to want to spend the holidays with him. Which I totally understand."

Karina: "No, he is not my family. YOU are my family. We will make cookies and drink wine and sit by the Christmas tree and stare at the beautiful lights!"

While I was fishing for sympathy, I also told Sarah how I woke up feeling really low. She told me next time I felt that way to drive over, climb in bed with her and we would watch movies and drink wine in bed.

Basically I've decided to quit bitching for the time being because really I'm incredibly blessed to have such amazing, beautiful, understanding, supportive friends who are always there. They get me. They understand that wine and friendship can get you through anything, including the holidays.

Blogfully yours,


kel said...

Trust me, sweetie, when you're attached a lot of the time you wish you were single. Don't get me wrong, I love my man, but being single is so much fun!

Enjoy it, it won't last long. I say ride it out and have a blast doing it.

And you'd probably enjoy being single more if you were in a place that was more friendly for those who are over 22 and still single. San Diego, perhaps?

Anonymous said...

My dear! Roma Noodles .. wine and your non lesbian lover is sooo much better then walking cock and balls... Plus you know if you had a bustard in your life, after the holidays, "joy" and presents you would wish he could go back in the "closet" and don't come out till the next "jolly" next year days!
.... Need cock and balls? use your Pearly Bunny! after you done with the most amazing thing invented ever, put him back in the closet!
Live, Love Life!
The Russian!

The Odd Duck said...

I think I'm going to have the phrase cock and balls in my head the rest of the day.

Sarah Bellum said...

Need I remind you that the joy of being single for the holidays is all the money you would have spent on a man is now designated for yourself?

Yeah, clothes trump men every single time.

Tanner Reynolds said...

Yeah... always fun to be asked those questions. But such is the way of Utah. Reproduce or die.

Two options come to mind:

Take a trip somewhere and avoid the questions entirely! But then of course you're not with family for the holidays (but possibly somewhere very warm).

Male prostitute. Bring him to the events to avoid the questions. And after you've had your fun with him. Out the door he goes!

I may be persuaded to apply for the role of said male. I can't say I've done anything of the sort before. But it never hurts to try new things... right?

Oh and Hello! I'm Tanner

Anonymous said...

cock and balls
once again..
The Russian ;)
Love you!