Monday, October 20, 2008

New couple on the block

My darling BFF, Karina the Russian, has met someone and has fallen, once again, in love. Truth of the matter is, he is actually a really decent guy and as of today, I approve of him. She has told him however that entering into a relationship with her is also entering into a relationship with me. She and I have learned from several past relationships that full disclosure is the best way to go. So she explained to him that boyfriends have accused us of being lesbians when in fact we are the ultimate non-lesbian couple. Putting it into a Russian analogy, which always has to do with food, she explained to him that she is the wine, I am the cheese and he can be the grapes.

I asked her via text message if she would mind if I told the internet about our new relationship and she said "Hell yeah!" I told her I would be putting her wine analogy in, to which she responded, "Yes, but its got to be that French wine, with that French Cheese and the big grapes!"

Apparently, without my knowing it, I have graduated from a non-lesbian couple to a very high class non-swinger relationship. The relationship may be sex-free, but at least I'll be well fed.

Blogfully yours,


scott said...

I don't know. If a girl said to me that she was the wine and I was the grapes, I'd feel threatened somehow. It's like saying, "I'm the quacamole and you're the avocado" or "I'm the fire and you're the wood". It just sounds like the relationship builds her up and consumes me in the process.

How about "I'm the wine and you're the... uh... fancy crackers?"

Hello, Summer.

kel said...

Nicely done, sister!

Anonymous said...

...Fancy Crackers?? Thats carbs... thats what creats fat ass... NO! going back to wine and grapes! If the guy feels "threatened" by it... what a pussy! There for he doesnt belong in Our Non-Lesbian World!
.... Crackers and WINE???? ... Damn Mountain PEOPLE! LOL!
LOVE you!!!
The Russian!

Sarah Bellum said...

Love the analogy and the new masthead. Well done, dear.