Wednesday, December 31, 2008

When the past catches up to you

Last night I met up for a drink with an old friend that I hadn't seen or heard from in 2 1/2 years. I think he moved to another planet or something. It was funny because even though so much time had passed, we still remembered how good of friends we used to be. The part that wasn't funny, in fact quite the opposite, was recounting what has gone on in my life over the past 2 1/2 years.

At first I had no intention of sharing any part of my sob story with my long lost friend, but warm kind eyes and an attentive caring listening ear allowed me to let my guard down enough to talk about things that only my closest friends and family know. I shook a little telling parts of my story, I hope he didn't notice, but at the end of it all when I knew no more details were required, my friend looked me in the eyes and said, "I am so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you."

Without hesitation I responded, "I don't. You wouldn't have even recognized me back then, I was a shell of who I am today. You couldn't have been there for me - I wouldn't have let you in. You couldn't have saved me - I had to save myself. I am the strong healthy happy independent woman that I am today because I learned how to be alone. Accepting that I am OK on my own, making myself happy, those were challenges that I had to overcome on my own. I'm grateful that we are becoming friends again today because I am better now than I have ever been."

2008 has been a fabulous year for me. I traveled a lot with friends and even made it outside of the country for the first time. I started back to school after a 10 year hiatus and have generally remained busy happy and productive. In fact, I even paid off my car this year! That's right, I OWN my car for the first time in my life! All things considered, my life is pretty damn good.

Here's to an even better 2009!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thats Right!
You are beautiful, smart, perky tits, get shit done FUZZY KITTY!
I'm proud of you! You are becoming stronger and stronger right in front of my Russian eyes!
LOVEYOU!!!!!

Erin Alberty said...

I totally identify with the need to do things alone in crisis. At the depth of my dark days, I ran away to China to escape well-meaning people with maps and find my own way home.

But once I got back, it was good to know they'd be here to celebrate.

Happy New Year, Summer! Be proud of your year: travel, adventure, scholarship, independence and crotch-area renown.

:-)

http://summerbray.blogspot.com/2008/11/christmas-sins-drunken-compliments.html (didn't want ppl to get the wrong idea).

Courtney and Jeff said...

You are awesome and I'm glad to know such a strong woman. Your lessons in life are admirable! Not only are you beautiful on the outside, you are much more on the inside... :-) Happy New Year to you!