Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Crue Fest Pictures

What a crazy fun night! We all met in a parking lot and boarded the "Fun Bus" around 6:30. I, however, was screeching into the parking lot at 6:42 due to my innate ability to forget the most important thing...the tickets. Sense I had to run all the way back to my office, I was not able to get as 80's glammed out as I had originally planned, but it still worked. I had a neon green tank, fishnet mesh top and neon green heels to match. Wearing heels when you are in general admission (on the grass) is never a great idea, but they made the outfit! I had planned to have really big hair and a mini skirt...oh well.

The Wiggin' Out Crew

As you can see from the pictures it was a really fun group of people! I think I can safely say that everyone who went had a great time. The only bad part of the night was the ride home! The parking at USANA is HORRIBLE unless you leave before the encore. It took us over an hour to get out of the parking lot!
I have a few more pictures, that if my sister ever locates where her 2 year old hid the memory card to, I will post.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Tonight marks the historic Crue Fest 2008! Crue Fest is Motley Crue, Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Sixx AM and Trapt! I am so excited I can barely stand it! A group of my friends have rented a tour bus so we can roll up to the concert in style. Best part of having our own tour bus is that you can drink on the way up so you don't have to buy $9 beers at the venue. Also I should mention that this is the "Wiggin Out" crue. Most of us are dressing up in our best 80's gear. Some are wearing big 80's hair wigs too. My sister Staci and I went to the local thrift store, Deseret Industries or "the DI" (for all you non-Utahns, it's the bomb), and got some radical clothes for the occasion. Stay tuned for pictures!

Side note: So you know how when you break up with someone over time you get over it and you wish the best for them? Right...that is not how I am feeling right now. My x, who happens to be the music director for a local radio station, is currently back stage at Crue Fest hanging out and interviewing all of the bands. I hate him. Ok, hate is not the right word, but I am incredibly jealous of him. And to make matters worse, I am listening to him talk to them online while I am at work! Oh well tonight is going to ROCK anyway. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't run into him!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Peace and Quiet

Every once in a great while you find an entire weekend on your hands with absolutely nothing to do! These are cherished rarities. This weekend has been one of those rarities.
Originally I was planning to go camping with a group of friends, but when the "group" turned into just one couple plus me, I decided not to go. Instead of seeking out dates or parties to keep me busy I chose to lay low and use this weekend to relax, reflect and regain control of my chaotic life. I did laundry, cleaned my place, hung out by the pool, finished my book and watched about a half dozen movies! At first this weekend was very scary to me. To sit home on a Friday and Saturday night has not been very common for me as of late, but I quite enjoyed it. I started to realize that this is what it is like to truly be alone. Somewhat sad and frightening, but at the same time refreshing and liberating. I guess the first part that made me feel alone is that I had no one calling me and no reason to expect anyone to be calling me. The second part was that for the first time, I wasn't wishing that anyone was. It dawned on me that my heart is finally starting to heal. Now I can't say that I do not think of and miss Sven - I do. And I can't say that I didn't wonder how Mr. Larsen* was doing (he is out of town on a fishing trip) - I did. But there was not that pain and sense of longing that has been my constant companion for so long. Instead I was able to think with a clear head about what I want and where I am headed.
The first thing I decided, and this has been a long time coming, is that I want to fall in love. Whew! There, I said it! I want to have butterflies and feel special and sexy and safe. Now, that being said, let me clarify that I do not want to rush into anything. Meaning that I am not planning to fall head of heels for the first man who makes me laugh. I have a very clear vision in my head (and on paper for that matter) of the type of man I am looking for. But I am done being bitter with love. I am not mad at love and I do not think it is a load of crap anymore. I am past those feelings and at the risk of sounding cliche, I am ready to let love in.
The second thing that I had already decided, but am now even more committed to is that I am going back to college. I hate admitting that I do not have a degree, but I do not. When I got married the agreement was that I would support my x through school and then when he was finished, I would go. Well now here I am, almost 28 and with no degree. So this fall I am going to start back. Just a few classes to start. School is another sort of scary thing, but I am also pretty damn excited. I actually think I will do better at this stage in my life than I would have when I was younger. I am a little bit more disciplined now.
So that's about it for now. This week is going to be a great one! My boss is out of town which means we all get to dress a little more casual and that seems to put everyone in a better mood!

Learn Live Hope

*Mr. Larsen: new somewhat code name for the guy I started dating (just dating). The "Mr." part is because he is 11 years older than me.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The night Whitman crashed at my pad

Email from Ram:
"...would you be so kind in letting 5 not-so-smelly rock 'n' rollahs sleep on your floor? Your the only person I know from Salt Lake."

"I live in a little one bedroom apartment so you literally would be sleeping on the floor, but you are more than welcome! Mi Casa Su Casa. Guess the after party from your show will be at my pad! But no bringing groupies home with ya! :) I do have a cat so I hope none of you are alergic."

"Thanks so much for allowing us to crash in your tiny one bedroom aparment. The floor is definitely better than sleeping in the van...Thanks again buttercup."

Last night I went to see my friend Ram's band, WHITMAN, perform at a local dive bar called Burt's Tiki Lounge. I am not one who frequents dive bars, but this place was actually a lot of fun. It was voted one of Americas top 20 dive bar by Stuff Magazine.
I know Ram from my friend Ellen who moved from Salt Lake to Austin, TX for a job. I went and visited her twice in 2006 so I got a chance to meet a lot of her friends. Ram, or as I like to call him "Cute Ram" is one of those characters who can just make me laugh without even trying. The things that come out of his mouth always catch me off a good way of course.
Ram and the boys rockin out on stage.
Ram me & Ryan smiling pretty for the camera.
Anther band, The Slants lead singer with the oldest locals to frequent Burt's. This lady was out there shaking it and dancing all night! You can't see it in the picture, but she had a large Pabst Blue Ribbon in her hand too!

Here are all of the members for Whitman. I must say as far as house guests go they were fabulous! We came back to my place after the show and had pizza and beer. The boys all crashed on blowup mattresses on the floor. In the morning I made them pancakes with strawberries and whip cream and sausages. They were very polite, thankful nice guys, although Kyle told me as they were leaving that I had just fed the stray dogs and don't be surprised if they pass through Utah again. I say - Please do!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Catching up

Today is Wednesday, so I thought I would do a mid-week post. The only problem is I can't seem to narrow it down to one thing to write about! So here is a quick synopsis of the Summer highlights for the past 5 days.

Last Saturday I went to a fund raising event for PWACU, which is the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah. The invite, which I found in Q Salt Lake (our gay friendly paper), said it was a fashion show fund raiser and several of the local stores I like would be featured in it. So of course I ask the slightly homophobic guy I have started to date if he will go with me. He was actually a really good sport about it all. The runway models consisted of both regular and cross dressed men and women. It was fabulous!
My friend Heidi and her boyfriend came along which was also fabulous because in the 5 or 6 months that they have been dating, I have never met him! He seems to be very nice and has his act together. Not to mention he ADORES Heidi.

Sunday I went to a concert at the amazing Red Butte Gardens. I had never been to a concert there and I must tell you, it was beautiful! You get to bring up your own picnic and sit on the grass. You are allowed to bring up wine or beer too. I saw Emmylou Harris who I was not very familiar with but I was very impressed. Her voice is so different. A cross between country, folk and blues - I loved it!

Monday I went to John Mayer and Colbie Caillat with my cute Karina. I had asked one of my radio rep on Friday to see if he had any extra tickets but told him if not it is no big deal. He called me at 5:45pm, as I was pumping my life savings into my gas tank, and said that some station winners had not picked up their tickets so I could have them! Can I just say that sometimes I just love my job! Luckily Karina and I had already planned to hang out so she had a sitter lined up. We missed most of Colbie Caillat, which was perfectly ok with me seeing as how she is someone that I had listened to a lot with a previous x (not the swede, the one before that). John Mayer was great! The concert was out at USANA Amphitheater. So again I was out watching a concert on the grass under the stars. Karina and I had fun people watching. It was definitely a "date" concert. Couples littered the grass, but that's alright, I was completely content with my date!

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Name Game

I have decided to go back to my maiden name...from here on out I shall be known as Summer K. Fredrickson.

It is an incredibly large pain in the butt process to legally change my last name back to what my parents blessed me with. From what I understand, it starts with finding my divorce decree and seeing if I was smart enough to state that I was changing my name back. If not, I have to go to a judge and get his permission! HIS PERMISSION??? To change my name??? Anyway, then I have to go to the social security offices and get a new ss card. Next a new license. After that then I will begin changing all of my banking, bills, passport, email and whatever else I am leaving out.

If anyone has any advise on shortcuts to getting your name changed back please feel free to share! Also I need to figure out how to set up a URL that says Fredrickson but still have this Bray one point to it. I am actually starting to get excited about going back to my roots. I have been a Bray for 7 years and it is the name that everyone knows me by so it is bittersweet to let it go. It's time though.

Summer Fredrickson

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My 2 Passions Battle It Out

Confession: Last night I played hookie from hiking to go to a free concert at the Hard Rock slap my wrists and send me to time out.

One of my greatest passions in life is music and I love - love - love going to concerts! I had heard on the radio that Justin Nozuka would be doing a free acoustic performance. Now I have no idea at this point in time who Justin Nozuka is, all I hear is free concert and I know I want to be there. I mentioned it to a few friends and they agreed that it sounded fun, although none of them knew who Justin Nozuka was either. Then I was on a weekly conference call between my client and 3 of the local radio stations and I mentioned to the PD of 107.9 The Mix, the station putting on the event, that I would see him at Hard Rock later. He tells me that if I am really going that he would put me on the list! Yay for having connections! I told him to count me in and went to Justin Nozuka's myspace page and listened to him while I was at work so I would be familiar with his music.

My awesome friend Heidi met me at Hard Rock and we walked our VIP butts up to the front of the line (which was wrapping around the building an hour before the concert started) and were ushered to our VIP seats in the VIP section. There was such a huge turn out that they ended up doing 2 concerts to accommodate everyone. Justin's performance was wonderful. He is very young but his music and his voice are very mature. He is a mix between a bluesy singer/song writer and a pop artist. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

This is one of my favorite song (that I know), called "Mr. Therapy Man" - Enjoy!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Bryce Canyon National Park Weekend

I am a bit late in getting this post up. Last weekend I went to Bryce Canyon National Park and Escalante with my good friend Heidi. We left on the 5th and drove to Escalante where we stayed at a wonderful bed and breakfast called The Slot Canyon Inn. I originally booked the room here in the beginning of May when I thought Sven was coming out. Every place inside the park was booked so I found this place, which is about 45 minutes outside of the park. It took us just under 5 hours to get there. We checked in around 3:30pm, packed our packs with food and water and headed out to Calf Creek Falls, a beautiful 6 mile hike with amazing scenery. Red rock cliffs with lush greenery along a river and an amazing fall as your payoff at the end. Here are some pictures from this hike.

Sunday, the 6th, our plan was to spend the entire day hiking around Bryce. We had a great breakfast at the Inn, packed up food and supplies and headed out for adventure. However, this was not destined to be my day. We arrived at the park, pulled into the visitor center and decided on a longer hike, one that said it would take 4-5 hours, went back to the car and realized I left my pack (which contained all of our food supplies). I was so mad! We debated about going back, but that would set us back 2 hours! So I decided that I would splurge and buy a new pack and we would split the cost of more food. $95.00 later, we head to the trail head only to pull up and have it start pouring down rain!
Still determined to see Bryce, Heidi and I decide we will take the less adventurous approach and drive to all of the over looks. Only problem is that my camera is in my pack back in the room, so I do not have any pictures! After seeing the sights we stopped for lunch at the Bryce Canyon lodge, and decide we could both use a glass of wine. The waiter, bless his heart, spills my glass of wine all over me. At this point my bad luck is just funny to me. We had a good laugh about it and ended up getting dessert for free.
After lunch we decide that it might have cleared up enough to attempt a hike, but 30 minutes into the hike the imposing storm clouds, complete with lightening and thunder made us turn around which was a good thing because we ended up getting to the car right as the rain began to pour down.
We headed back to our hotel and decided that we needed a really nice dinner. A friend of mine told me about a place in Boulder that has and amazing restaurant so we called and got a reservation at Hells Backbone Grill. It was about 45 minutes away from where we were staying, but well worth the drive, which I should mention is so awe inspiring in itself. The food was fabulous and I want to go back and stay at the lodge there some time soon! Here is a picture of Heidi and I after we got all dolled up for dinner.

Monday morning we packed up, checked out of the hotel and headed back to Bryce. We decided we wanted to get a morning hike in before heading back to Salt Lake. We did the Navajo/Queens loop and it took us about 2 hours. It was amazing! I felt like I was on another planet, like I was walking around on Mars or something. There were large Hoodoos, red and white layers or rock, and pine trees...such an odd combination. It is hard to describe, I think it best to just put a bunch of pictures up instead.

I loved this vacation! It was perfect for me. Right up my alley. I would recommend it to anyone. Bryce is a place that everyone should experience. Now I won't lie, it was a little hard being there (since I had originally planned this for Sven and I)but I do not regret going! Heidi and I had a blast and it is truly one of the most majestic places to visit in Utah.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Wednesday Night Hikes #4

Our hike last night started where the pavement ends at the top of Millcreek Canyon and went up to an overlook of The Canyons Ski resort. A measly 6-7 mile hike. Definitely challenging through some parts. You cross back and forth through a stream for the first mile or so. My balance on the way up was good so my feet stayed dry, on the way down however, I couldn't walk across a log to save my life so my feet were quite soggy. They also allow dogs off leash on odd days, so between the water, the dusty trail and the dogs continually running up and down the trail, I was a dirty sweaty smelly happy hiker!
The hike took a little over 3 hours total, but we were about 15-20 minutes up the canyon so I didn't get home until close to 10. Whew! Well worth it though!
I recently learned the difference between an escape and a retreat. You see an escape is when you are running away from something but a retreat is a planned venture away from your current reality. So I consider hiking my retreat from reality. I feel cleansed and healed every time I go.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

4th of July

Here are a few pictures from my 4th of July. Karina and I took her kids (or "our kids" as she so fondly refers to them) to Sugarhouse park. It was a lot of fun. Parking was crazy, but other than that it was an amazing show!

Cutest non-lesbian couple ever!

Dimitri and Pasha wrestling.

My rent-a-daughter and my shadow for the night.

Dima cheesing it up for the camera! Getting a hyper 4 year old to hold still for a picture is very difficult!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Ouch Factor

This morning I found out that my x-husband is engaged. He and I have tried to remain friends throughout everything so you can imagine my shock when I found out his happy news via his blog...I found out from his blog.
We have been divorced nearly 3 years and I am happy for him. But, as much as I hate to admit it, it really stings. I knew it would happen, he had even talked to me about it several months back, but seeing the official news has thrown me for a loop. I guess I kinda thought I would remarry first. I know, I know, I said I didn't want to get married again, and I am not sure I do want to, but it is what I thought. They seem very happy together and she adores him from all I can tell. Maybe it stings so much because despite my hardass attitude, it is what I long for in my life. This news, mixed with other recent events, has just about done me in for today.

Tuesday "Sven", (my now x Swedish love) flew into the states. Upon arrival he text me:
"Hi Love! In NY now, dreamt about you on the flight. I want to see you baby. I can't be here without..."
He is in Florida right now visiting some relatives. We spoke today and he said he wanted to check flight prices to see if he could afford to come visit me. I am so torn. Part of me really wants to see him but another part of me does not. I don't know if I can put myself through it again. I know that we do not have a future but when he is here I go into denial and then he leaves and breaks my heart...again. Why put myself through that?
I recently started to date again and it is challenging enough on it's own. Most of the time I am not sure I am emotionally ready. Sven has a large peice of my heart that I haven't recovered. I'm not fully sure how to get it back. Does he always get to keep a peice? That doesn't seem right. I know it takes time and if I see him, it will take that much more time because every time I see him I fall a little deeper and a little harder.
Ah my heavy heart...let's get some sleep and things will look better in the morning.