Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lessons Taught by Friends - #2

#2 - You are stronger than you think. Courtesy of Jenn

Let me start by saying that going through a divorce is never easy. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 21. We divorced 4 years later. When we separated I moved in with my parents for a short time and then into an apartment on my own. Every step of the way Jenn was there. She has helped move me more times than I think she would care to remember. Through her example I learned that I was strong enough, capable, competent and independent. I never really knew I could be any of those things.

My father, bless his heart, raised 3 princesses and our ruler was and still is known as "the Queen". I'm not kidding, my Dad will call me and in a sarcastic voice he will say "the Queen would like to know if you are coming over for dinner tonight". The man I married, treated me like a princess as well. His main goals revolved around making me happy. I know this will sound horrible, but I kinda thought that was how normal standard relationships went. Anyway, things fell apart or my marriage anyway and I find myself as a single adult for the first time with all the ignorance you can imagine. Through every heart break and every hard lesson I learned, Jenn was there to listen to me cry, then she would ask me the hard questions that I didn't want to hear. Then she would instill in me her confidence that I was actually able to do things I didn't want to or didn't think I was capable of doing. She encouraged me to stop being such a princess and take control of my life. I watched her 7 months pregnant climbing a ladder to the top of her garage to get chairs down. Why was she getting chairs down? I don't remember, but I do know that at that point she was more capable of doing it than me in both her mind and mine, plus she is stubborn as can be and no one was going to tell her she couldn't.

I am rambling a bit so let me close with one last story. You see for some odd reason I always thought I got both my work ambition and my independence from my mother. I said that to my Dad once while we were up skiing and he kind of chuckled at the thought of the Queen being independent. Then the other day I had to cave and ask my Dad for help to hang a large wall decoration. I asked Jenn first, because we always hang stuff together, but we could never get our schedules to match up. So he came with the Queen and my niece Brielle. He and I hung the decoration and put a patio table together while my mom entertained Brielle on the couch. When we were done I showed my mom the new shower head I bought and installed by myself. She was actually impressed and said that she never would have even tried! And it is so true because she would have just nagged my dad until it got done. But not me, the new empowered independent me takes control and handles as many situations on her own as she can...just like my best friend Jenn.

Thank you so much Jenn for being the kind of friend who doesn't sugarcoat things. Thank you for helping me believe in me! We have been through so much together. We know each others deepest darkest secrets and I know it will always stay that way. Though our lives are drastically different, you with 2 kids and a husband and me living whatever my life is, I always know I can turn to you and I hope I can always be the type of friend that you can lean on when you decide to let your guard down.

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