Still haven't found what I'm looking for

I am on a quest to find the perfect lunch break study joint where I can get food, some peace and quiet and internet access. I have been rotating through 3 local coffee shops but hate that when I leave my hair always smells like toast for the rest of the day.

Downtown Salt Lake has a new incredibly beautiful library that I have heard is decent to study at, so yesterday I headed there. There was no street parking so I headed to the underground parking garage. I HATE underground parking! Is it just me or do they always seem like a murder scene? No one is around, every step you take echos, it is poorly lit... the man walking towards me with a baby stroller looks like he is going to pull a chainsaw out of it and start chasing me as soon as he gets closer. I have to remind myself that this is Salt Lake and not a slasher movie.

Anyway, parking at the library is free for the first 30 minutes and $1.25 for every 30 minutes after which seems a little steep to me. I walk down the hall where there are little cafe shops but realize quickly that you can not take food into the library with you so I pass them by. I walk through the metal detectors and it really is beautiful. Glass walls overlooking the city and the smell of old books. I start looking around trying to scope out a good place to hunker down for the next 45 minutes, carefully assessing the people around. I see no less than 4 (presumably) homeless guys hanging out. I head up a level to look for a more secluded area. I find a work station in the corner by a window. Shortly after I have all of my books out and am starting to add polynomials, one of the homeless dudes from down stairs comes and sits at a chair 2 desks down from me. No big deal until he falls asleep and starts SNORING very loudly. I breath deep, curse myself for not bringing headphones and keep working. Then snoring homeless guys buddy from downstairs comes and sits right across from me to read the paper. It's a public library, people can sit wherever they like, I get it. But I purposely found a place away from everyone and there were other empty desks close by so I start feeling like he did it just to fuck with me. I become a little paranoid and can't concentrate. All I hear is the snoring snoring snoring and I keep getting waves of the scent of cigarette smoke and dirty clothes from the guy sitting across from me who is intently studying a Sears ad like it is breaking news.

Finally I pack up my stuff and start to head out, half positive that the homeless duo are going to start following me, which of course they don't but it doesn't stop me from looking over my shoulder anyway. I feel like everyone is watching me as I walk out and I swear to you they were! I tell myself I am being ridiculous and if anyone IS looking at me it's just because they don't see many 6 feet tall women walking around and maybe I am a freakshow to them. I hustle out and as I am waiting for the elevator to go back to the slasher parking garage, another homeless guy who looks a little like Jesus, if Jesus had a lazy eye, won't stop stairing! I hit the elevator button again and sideways glance over and he is STILL stairing! Which if you are going to kill me fine, stair away. But if not, it's just considered rude! I finally make it to my car, pay the toll booth and head back to work.

After committing this story to words it is very apparent that I must have some serious fear of public places... or homeless dudes. Either way I don't think I will be going back to the public library anytime soon. I'll stick to the safety of my little coffee shops where I can see my car from the window thank-you-very-much. Obviously I am not cut out for life in a really big city. I'd be having anxiety attacks daily. I'm actually a little dissapointed in myself to be honest. I pride myself in being an independant bad ass chick. I don't like seeing myself as the stupid girl who when running from the chainsaw guy trips and just starts screaming while he keeps coming towards her. I want to be the girl who laughs in his face at his weak weapon then drop kicks him to the floor while yelling "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?" because that is what a bad ass chick should do.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

I'm dating a freak

Text conversation with the boyfriend:

Me: "What do you think about me making you dinner tonight?"

ED: "Sounds good to me."

Me: "Any requests?"

ED: "Nope. It's up to you."

Me: "Well I was thinking I'd skip the gym and go grocery shopping instead as I have no food in my place since the Secret has not delivered it to me yet. Plus then you'd be able to see me in my sexy business clothes. ;)"

Me: "OR I can go to the gym, pick up Greek food and you will get sweaty, hair in ponytail Summer and I will still not have food at my place."

ED: I don't want to hurt your health and fitness so Greek food sounds great. :)"

Me: "How did I know you would say that? Fine... I'll go to the gym, but just so you know, I am in a skirt today AND I curled my hair. Neither of which you will see. :-P

ED: "It's a damn shame, but I care about you and don't want your health to suffer because I'm selfish. :) Besides, I really like sweaty post workout Summer too. :)


Seriously? Serves me right for dating a personal trainer. I try to get off the hook, with somewhat legitimate reasons, and he doesn't bite. WTF? I guess should have known better than to try and seducing him with food and business clothes. He has non-human will power.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

I'm positively positive

Last weekend I got depressed. Normally I am a happy-go-lucky type of person who is generally an optimist... but I wasn't happy, I wasn't go-lucky (whatever that means) and I sure as shit wasn't an optimist. I wasn't myself at all.

I'm not sure why it happens, but every once in a while I let the weight of the world that has been piling on my shoulders come crashing down around me. I over-extend myself and instead of turning into the superwoman I think I should be, the one who can juggle everything, I shut down and do nothing. Then because I am a bit of a control freak and feel like I am not controlling my actions how I would like, I get depressed and do nothing but sleep. Yeah. That is the best psychoanalysis I can come up with for what happened.

Luckily I was in enough of a frame of mind to recognize that I needed to do SOMETHING to pull myself out of it before beginning my work week or I would never survive. Sunday night I swung by Karina the Russians place to borrow her DVD of The Secret. I came home and watched it while attempting to do homework and you know what? The stupid show actually really helped me out! I started telling myself little positive reinforcements and visualizing things happening the way I wanted!

Monday I was stressed because due to my comatose weekend of imitating a zombie, I hadn't finished my research paper or my math homework that was due the following day. I don't normally get out of class on Mondays until 8:30pm but I just kept telling myself all day "there is plenty of time. Don't stress, there is always plenty of time." So then Monday night my teacher lets us out of class 1 1/2hrs early so THERE ACTUALLY WAS PLENTY OF TIME! I couldn't believe it! I actually willed there to be enough time. Yeah, I was feeling pretty damn powerful right about then. I started trying to decide what to use my new found powers on next. Maybe for there to be food in my kitchen or my liquor cabinet to restock itself or maybe a free trip to someplace tropical!

I know it's only been a few days but so far there is still no food in my kitchen and I just looked and I am down to one bottle of wine. I'm giving the free trip about another week to materialize before I let go of the idea that I actually have the magical power to will things to happen. Actually, truth be told, regardless of having magical willing powers or not, it just feels good to be back to me. I like to be happy and I love to laugh. Whatever I can do, think or say to keep me feeling this way is totally worth it. Because if I don't want to be around myself, I'm pretty sure no one else would want to be either.

Yay for regaining my positive outlook!

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Moab Continued - 4 hikes, 1 day

Yeah, I know, I have been a blogging slacker. I have a lot of catching up to do starting with finishing writing about my amazing trip to moab!

The great thing about going to Moab with a group who has been there a million times is that they were all very concerned with making sure I was able to experience as much of Moab as possible. Truthfully, I felt like a kid visiting Disneyland for the first time. "Look at that rock! OH! No look at that one! Holy cow look how amazing this place is!" and the group would laugh at me and feel proud that they were the ones to introduce it to me. Like their little mountain child had finally found her way home.

We started out the last hiking day of our vacation with a 1 mile hike called "Park Avenue". A far stretch from the real Park Avenue not that I have ever been there, but even if I had, I'm sure I would have like this better.


Next we mad a quick stop by "Balancing Rock" we only had 5 minutes before we were supposed to be at our next location but I had to see the rock from every angle. Julie came with. When we rounded the corner to head back to the car we saw a few of them were taking off so Julie and I did some trail running back to the car. It sounds funny, but all of sudden I had this image that we were two 10 year old best friends giggling and laughing as we jumped from rock to red rock.


Next stop was "The Firey Furnace". In order to enter the laberinth that is the furnace you must have a ranger, a certified guide or take a class due to the complex maze of canyones you wander through. I was excited to have a ranger as our guide and let me tell you he did not dissapoint. He was incredibly knowlegeable, but I guess if you had done the same hike over 1,500 times, you would be too.
The funace was by far one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I tried my hardest to stay in the front of the group so that I could hear all that Ranger Lee was saying...I really am such a nerd.





After spending 3 hours weaving in and out of the furnace we finally emerged, ate a quick lunch and headed over to "The Delicate Arch". Those of you from or familiar with Utahs license plate with the red rock arch, that is what I got to see.


The hike up is a gruling 1.5 miles strait up on slickrock. So Julie, Mariah, Chris and I figured the quickest way down was to RUN IT! Wind in my hair, sweat on my back, and smile on my face, that's exactly what I did.

Lastly, I promised you "Indian Dicks."
Ranger Lee informed me that is not the technical name for them. I guess in mixed company you should call them spires, but...look at them!



Mother Nature has a kick ass sense of humor is all I'm sayin'!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

A slient protest

School this week has been occupying more of my time than my cat Aurora likes. She is sick and tired of me sitting at the computer desk or the kitchen table instead of the couch where she can lay on my lap. In fact, she is so tired of hearing herself bitch about it that she has decided to try a new not-so-subtle approach to letting me know just how she feels about college.


Oh Aurora! One day it will all be over and we can be couch buddies again. Until then I guess my teachers will have to deal with homework covered in cat hair.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Kicking 8.5 miles in its mountain ass

My Valentines day was spent hiking in Canyonlands trying to comprehend just how small we all actually are. I forgot my camera for this hike, luckily one of the group members, Chris, brought his. Despite my complaining, I did actually pack warm enough which is a very good thing because temperatures were in the 30's for this hike.
We hiked the Syncline Loop around Upheaval Dome. The hike starts at approximately 5,700 feet up.

You spend the first mile hiking strait down over rocky terrain carefully watching where you step, stopping every so often to look up...then down...and down some more.

After dropping down from 5,700 ft to about 4,200 ft you hike along a dried up riverbed for a few miles, then back up a "short" rock staircase into one of the most breath taking valleys. I kept trying to absorb everything I saw, to commit it to memory, but it's overwhelming. Standing in the valley, with rock walls in every direction with another hiker, Julie and I stood there spinning in circles to see the view from every angle, to memorize it somehow. Words can not describe how truly awe inspiring it was.
We stopped for lunch just past the valley. Sitting on a large rock soaking up the sun while sharing and passing around treats. It's quite a community event. "Anybody want some almonds?" "Who wants Fig newtons?"

After lunch, we looked up the narrow canyon trying to figure where the trail might lead us. Rock scrambling is where it lead us. But we all looked out for each other as we began to hike strait up over boulders the size of trucks. No one left behind became our motto.

For the first 5 or 6 miles of the hike, while you are stepping from sharp rock to sharp rock, you don't really pay much attention to your feet. During the last 2 to 3 miles of the hike where the rocks were replaced with snow then a sandy river bed it felt so good I could have literally kissed the ground we were hiking on.
When we finally made it back to the cars, we were all exhausted yet celebratory for having made it back safely. I can honestly say I have never done anything like this before. Oh sure, I'll do 3 to 5 mile hikes in the mountains close to home, but they do not come close to comparing to this.

I'm quite proud of myself actually.

Spoiler Alert: In my next post I will show you what an Indian Dick looks like, Ranger Lee and a really big rock balancing on practically nothing. Will the wonders of Moab never cease?

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Preview

My hiking trip to Moab was absolutely amazing and I fully plan on blogging about hiking 8.5 miles, running down the mile and a half rocky trail to delicate arch, stiff muscles, seeing Canyon Land, Indian Dicks and park rangers. But for now, I have been studying for a math test and writing a research paper for english so I'll just leave you with these pictures of Mesa Arch in Canyon Lands.


Blogfully yours,
Summer

Why yes, makeup is a requirement in Moab

Last Thursday night I was packing for my hiking weekend in Moab, UT. The boyfriend came over to spend a little time with me before I go. Of course he had to tease me that I was packing WAY too much stuff to which I adamantly disagreed with because the smart hiker is always prepared (so there!).

Upon arriving in Moab I quickly realized that not only was I severely UNDER packed, but that I also forgot my makeup bag. 4 days with NO makeup is just not acceptable unless you are boating or full blown camping! This weekend consisted of hiking and staying in a motel so makeup is pretty much required.

TEXT MESSAGE

Me: I would like you to know that I am severely under packed compared to everyone else! Oh, and you will be happy to know that I forgot my makeup at home.

ED: How could you possibly be under packed? I think everyone else is just over packed and lets be honest here, you know you have some makeup with you. ;) xoxo

Me: I hate that you know me so well.

I will have a full post complete with picture (yes, I will have makeup on so don't be afraid to check back) in the next day or so. For now, I am going to crash. My aching muscles and my comfy bed are calling to me.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

I'll Get Him Trained Yet

Me: "Hey babe, I need to talk to you about something and I know you are going to think I am a little crazy."

ED: "Sure Hon, what is it?"

Me: "Could you please NOT put the lid down after you use the bathroom? I know it sounds funny, but Aurora drinks out of the toilet and you are cutting off her water supply."

ED: "Your cat drinks out of the toilet?"

Me: "Yes."

ED: "You realize you are asking me to go against everything I have been trained to do right?"

Me: "I am aware. But it would mean a lot to me so I don't have to start giving the cat fresh water."

ED: "I finally understand why your cat hates everyone."


Blogfully yours,
Summer

This year I don't hate Valentines Day

For the past 3 years I have pretty much dreaded, despised and cursed Valentines day. Being single will do that to you. This year however, I am not single! I am dating a great guy who is a planner with a super romantic side. Everybody now "Awwww!"

I will actually be out of town for Valentines day so the boyfriend and I decided we would celebrate early. We both agreed to get all of our homework done in advance so that we would have no distractions and to spend all day Sunday together.


To start the day off right, the boyfriend made me breakfast. Yes this is my "Goldenrod" ghetto kitchen. I only wish you could see the push button stove better.

After our hearty breakfast of steak, eggs and Ego Waffles we got ready to head up the mountain. Around 10 AM the boyfriend walked into the bathroom to see what was taking so long. "You do realize we are going skiing right?"
Flabergahsted I replied "Don't you even know me at all?" then turned to put another coat of mascara on.

We made it up to The Canyons around 11ish. The boyfriend turned out to be an excellent skiing buddy (although he is a boarder), and not just because he carried my skis for me from the car to the tram (which was excellent), but because he is so incredibly fun to be around. We ended up having a great time, even though he did have the nerve to throw snowballs at me. The weather was a little snowy but not too cold and we never had to wait in line for longer than a couple minutes.

After skiing we headed back to get cleaned up. The boyfriend made dinner reservations at Log Haven wich was unbelievably good! I had never really been there before. We had a corner table that overlooked the beautiful mountains. The service, the crab cakes, the wine, the steak and lobster - it was all fantastic. I am drooling just thinking about it again. And of course the company completed it all.

I seriously couldn't have asked for a better (early) Valentines day. This man, the boyfriend, I think I am going to have to keep him around for a while. He is starting to get to me and for once it is not a scary thing.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

4 hours with a 3 year old

Saturday I woke up and had the day all to myself. Only problem with that is I'm not paticularly good at it. I scheduled myself a massage and while Miss Boney Fingers was jabbing away at my aching muscles I thought about how I should spend my day. For some reason my adorable niece Brielle kept popping into my mind. I hadn't seen her in forever. A few days earlier my sister had called and put her on the phone "Do you want to ride the train with me Summer?" Just like that. She is speaking in full clear sentences! To clarify as to why she was asking me about riding a train, last September Karina and I took her 2 kids ("our kids") and Brielle on Utah's public transportation system called "Trax". I guess my sister had driven past it and Brielle couldn't stop talking about it. It's amazing the things kids remember.

When I was finished being torchered by my sadistic massage therapist I called up my sister to see if I could borrow her daughter for a few hours. She was thrilled because she and her BF needed to do "homework". When I picked up Brielle she couldn't contain her excited because we both had on boots and hats which made us twinners.

As we left my sisters 2nd story apartment, Brielle sang a familar song I had so cleverly taught her once when I didn't have the ability to carry both her and grocierys "Stairs, stairs, stairs. I love stairs!" yet another thing I can't believe she remembers.

I took her to a bunch of really fun places, like the dry cleaners, the grocery store and the mall. She was a trooper through most of it. I will say that picking out the perfect Valentines card is near impossible with a 3 year old interrupting you every 30 seconds "can I have a teddy bear?" OK. Only if you are good. "I want some candy" No, you are getting the teddy bear. "I don't want my coffee anymore" There goes $3 out the window. "Hold me" Give me one more second princess. "I don't like this store anymore!" Until finally I choose a card, grab the stuffed animal, throw down some cash, bolt out of the store and head to my parents house for some back up support.

Honestly, how can something so adorable be so incredibly overwhelming? I watched her for a total of 4 hours and that was enough. Her way of thanking me for buying her a teddybear, putting makeup on her and letting her wear my jewelry, was to give me material I will use to blackmale or at the very least embarass her in front of a cute boy one day. I suppose you could call it a messed up parting gift of sorts.

"SUMMER! Can you come into the bathroom? I need HELP!"

I walk in and she tells me she needs me to wipe her. She jumps off the potty, turns around, puts her head down and her poopy little bum right in the air. Completely unabashed with a smile on her face.

Renting a kid is fun, but I have to say, the best part is getting to returning them.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Everyone else is doing it.

Last night I hit the gym, studied for my math test, revised my essay and watched the first 2 episodes of Heros (season one) with the boyfriend. I was a blogging slacker so I'm taking the easy way out and posting what I already posted on Facebook... although numbers 8 & 9 don't really count.

23 Things about me.

1. I talk to my cat. I can't leave the house in the morning without telling her goodbye and to be good.

2. I still bite my nails. It's one of those nasty nervous habits that I have never been able to shake.

3. I ate Indian food for the first time in my life last Friday. It was amazing.

4. I started getting gray hair about 2 years ago.

5. I own my car. Paid it off last summer. I can't tell you how much I love not having a car payment.

6. I was once told that I didn't know how to be alone so I spent a year being single. Best unspoken challenge that I ever won.

7. I've never had a boyfriend with brown eyes.

8. I'm a blogger. My grandmother is my biggest fan/reader.

9. I recently created a blog category of "Posts grandma won't approve of"

10. I hate seeing wrinkles. I spend way too much money on face potions and lotions.

11. At any given time I have 8-10 tubes of lip stick or lip gloss in my purse, mascara and powder. It's slightly ridiculous.

12. I'm pretty sure my tech guys at work only tolerate my computer ignorance because I amuse them.

13. I have more condiments then actual food in my fridge.

14. I am never happier then when I am in the mountains; be it hiking, skiing, snowshoeing or camping, it is my happy place and gives me my sanity.

15. If I didn't have to work I would donate all my time to charity and write a book.

16. I love being back in school. Over the Christmas break I missed it.

17. When I was a little girl I had a lisp and talked like tweety bird - one of those stories my Dad still loves to tell just to embarrass me.

18. I got divorced 3 1/2 years ago from my High School sweetheart. We are still friends to this day though.

19. I am very close with my family. I eat Sunday dinner with my parents at least 3 times a month.

20. I have beautiful-amazing-talented

-strong-girl friends in my life. I would be absolutely lost without them.

21. I recently started to date a man I am crazy about, which is awesome cause he is crazy about me too. ;)

22. My natural hair color is a very light brown... I think. I haven't seen it in 12 years.

23. I don't watch scary movies. The Sixth Sense gave me nightmares so you can imagine what a horror flick would do.

24. I love music and concerts. I go to at least 6 concerts a year.

25. I am incredibly friendly and always like to believe the best about people. I do not understand mean or rude people. They suck.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you've done a good job

Last night I finished writing the first draft of my reflection paper. It is my first college English paper, written in MLA format and following all of the writing rules that we have learned so far. I have been working on it for about a week and I finally finished it at 10:30pm the night before it was due. I read through it several times and got really excited. My first real college paper! A piece I am calling "Starting Over". I was so excited that I wanted to share it with someone. But who would think I wasn't crazy calling them so late to read them a 4 page essay all about me?

The boyfriend had already gone to bed and so had the Russian BFF. I tweeted about it to see if anyone was online. My beloved friend and fellow college student Sarah, who I almost just called, responded but it was after I had already given up on Twitter. So I called the people who I knew had an obligation to be there for me, my parents.

Me: "Hi Dad, is Mom awake?"

Dad: "No she had to be to work at 5 this morning so she is asleep. Is everything OK?"

Me: "Yeah, I just thought she might find my college paper interesting and was going to make her listen to it. How do you feel about listening to it?"

Dad: "I could do that."

Me: "Are you sure? It's like 4 pages long, but I am really excited about it."

Dad: "Sure."

So I read my essay that I had poured my heart into to my Dad over the phone. Being the wonderful parent that he is he gave me his full attention and when I was done he validated that what I wrote was indeed good. My Dad is not the type to get all worked up with praises, but if there is one thing having all daughters has taught him, it's to sense when his girls really need to hear those praises. He told me my essay was well written, that it had just the right amount of personal information but not too much and that he enjoyed how it ended on such an upbeat note. I know that he is my Dad so he is all but required to say nice things, but it was still so wonderful to hear.

I suppose that every once in a while even the strongest of people need to hear that they did something good. Thank God for parents who tell you that you've done just that.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

A cautionary tale

Saturday night I dragged Karina the Russian and the boyfriend (I still do not have a name picked out for him) to Port O'Call to see Royal Bliss perform. For my non-Utahan readers, Port O'Call is one of our oldest bars and it is being forced to shut down because the government wants to put a building there. Also, Royal Bliss is Utah's local band who recently released their first major record label CD. I love the band, have hung out with them on more than a few occasions and seen them in concert at least a dozen times. This particular concert was very important to me as it would be my last time ever to set foot in Port O'Call and one of my last opportunities to see Royal Bliss before they become huge rock stars.

I swear it was like pulling teeth at first to get everyone on board to go. Karina was able to get a baby sitter and even though she has a bit of a grudge against the sexy guitar player (long story), got excited to go out. I had to take the boyfriend to the gym and give him a good workout before he was able to get excited to go (get your mind out of the gutter). My sister Staci and her BF Cody were suppose to come and she actually WAS excited to go, but she got sick.

So the Russian and the sexy nerd couple headed to the show. We ended up having to pay double the amount of the tickets because they were sold out. Thank god for exercise because the boyfriend stayed happy to make me happy. We made it upstairs and were watching the show. Of course the boys of Royal Bliss did not disappoint. We ended up standing behind a slightly older man and woman who were incredibly drunk. Now, I am not going to be a prude and say there is anything wrong with having a really good time and I've had more than my share of times being the drunken fool. But when you get to be so drunk that you are spilling drinks on people, dancing into them, starting fights in the women's restroom and causing my BF to want to punch you in the face for grabbing me, it's no longer cool, it's sad.

I made Karina swear to me the next morning over breakfast at Mimi's that we would never let each other get like the ridiculous older drunk woman or her friend (or whatever he was). Seriously, it's not cute at any age, but to be 40-something and falling over drunk, I never want that to be me. Luckily I now have Karina's solemn oath that it never will be. Yet another reason why I love her.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

What's in a name?

It has been brought to my attention that "ED" may not be the best code name for the new boyfriend. I originally named him that because it stood for Environmental Dating. It never occurred to me that the initials E.D. would have a few more commonly recognized meanings. Thank you to Sarah for pointing out that "Erectile Dysfunction" is it's most commonly known meaning and actually makes my post funnier when read that way. Thank you to Kel for pointing out that a common medical term for E.D. is "Emotionally Disturbed". Now, I hate to admit this, but I didn't think twice of calling him ED. In fact, I thought I was being so clever. Good thing I have friends to prove me wrong.

Over the weekend I have been putting some thought into what to call the new boyfriend. Should I just use his real name? Should I change the spelling to be Ed? Should I leave it ED as a reminder to my stupidity and for cheap giggles? While at lunch on Saturday with Karina the Russian I was telling her about my name problems as well as talking about all sweet cute things the new boyfriend has been doing and how he is talking about taking a trip together this summer for both of our birthdays. Her response, "Oh honey that is so great! He really is such a planner. In fact, you should call him Franklin Covey because he is such a planner!" Ya gotta love Karina. She never fails to make me smile.

So what am I going to call him? I have no idea. Maybe just expect that I will call him any number of combination to the above. Then again, maybe I will stop writing about him. Who knows. I'm crazy like that.

Blogfully yours,
Summer