Tuesday, January 6, 2009

"Environmental Dating"

Did you know that according to a book that I did not read but my friend Heidi told me about, that more old relationships are ended in January and new ones formed? I'm serious, there is some sort of study that somebody did that shows that right after New Years a lot of people break up. Something to do with New Years resolutions and finding true happiness... plus no one wants to be the asshole who breaks up right before the holidays so it is perfect timing. Then on the flip side those who are smart and stay single for the holidays are also looking to start out the New Years with love and if they get moving right away they can actually form the beginning of a meaningful relationship by Valentines Day. True story.

Now that you have been updated with this news, I must warn you that there is an epidemic that has been sweeping the country. It has been going on too long, it's time somebody brought it to light. The epidemic of which I speak is Environmental Dating.

Do not be fooled by it's eco-friendly name. When Jack Johnson sang his plea to "Reduce. Reuse. Recycle." he was NOT referring to dating. Reduce your consumption, reuse your clothing, recycle your cans - not your men. I know, I know, I am one of the biggest offenders of Environmental Dating and I am sure it comes as no surprise that Karina the Russian was the one to point it out to me. She has adopted the policy of once it is over, it is over. You don't piss off a Russian, and there certainly are no second chances. If it didn't work out the first time there was a reason and time will not change that! Unfortunately, I am not so tuff. I tend to have an all too forgiving heart that lands me back in the arms of previous loves. BUT the first rule of marketing, well maybe not the first or really any rule at all, is that if you put a name to something it becomes scary!

Beware of Environmental Dating!

See? Doesn't that sound scary? Like something you really want to find out about and avoid? I thought so. You can thank me later. I'm just doing my duty as a single citizen.

Blogfully yours,


Jeremy said...

I was going to relate the whole story about how I got dumped after the holidays but after writing it I sounded way too bitter.

It was almost like I had terrets or something!


Oh Sorry...

Anonymous said...

how ever you want to call it ..environMENTAL dating... recicling bull shit, what ever it is .. ITS HERE! and ITS happening! My love! I have an answear to that.. ITS YOUR CROTCH! Its practicly irresistible!
Toooo ALL man out there, She is here, she is addicting and ONCE YOU HAVE HER.. YOU"LL COME BACK!

Salt City Mistress said...

That is so perfect. What do you call it when your friends are dating your exes, besides incestuous?

Deidre said...

I was big on environmental dating while I was in college, but having moved over seas, it's made reduced my 'footprint' so to speak ;)

kel said...

I agree with the Russian. In this case, going green is definitely not healthy or good for the environment. Waste away, sweetheart!

rachael said...

Oh I am so glad I wandered in here, I came via Kel, you are funny girl! I must poke around here for a while. :)

C.S. Perry said...

Think more in terms of "Branding." Once you label them, their viability in the marketplace can only increase.
It's Name Recognition you want.
The Word will get out.
Trust me...I understand these things.

Anonymous said...

At least you're following this trend: http://green.msn.com/Home/Date-Local/?GT1=45002