If we don't kill each other, this could be awesome!

The lease is up on my apartment in about 2 months. So what does that mean? Well my darling younger sister, who happens to be one of my best friends and who also happens to have never moved out of my parents house (even though she is almost 26 years old and has a 2 1/2 year old daughter), and I are thinking about moving in together. I am sure that red flags are popping up left and right in you head right now and I'm not going to lie, they are in mine too. BUT, there are also a lot of green flags too. Right now I'm just trying to make sure the green outweighs the red.

See I like living alone. I like everything about it. There is nothing I do not like about living alone. Nothing. I hate moving. I have moved 5 times in the past 3 years and it is getting really old. I like where I live...for the most part. Ok, that is a lie. I like the location, I don't like hearing my neighbors walking above me or that I do not have a washer and dryer or that my kitchen is "golden rod" yellow and my bathtub is the most uncomfortable tub there is. But my hatred for moving makes me want to stay where I am at. But...I am back in school now and saving money on rent would be very nice. I adore my niece and I want the best for her and my sister and it is truly time for them to get out of my parents house and into the real world. So...we are searching. Searching for a place that is afordable, in the right location, and that we both like.

Have I mentioned I hate moving?





My adorable niece and soon to be roommate.

SHINEDOWN

Last night I went to a concert. No, I did not cut class to go either. My Humanities instructor is in Italy and canceled class this week so I was not "technically" being a bad student. In fact, I can use this concert as an assignment for class so really I am a good student after all! We have to attend 4 cultural events and a rock concert can count. Don't you just love it when things fall right into place?

Shinedown is one of my favorite bands, I mean we are talking top 10 here folks and coming from a music fanatic such as myself, that is pretty huge! All day yesterday I was counting down the time until the show started. When we got there I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. I mean did you notice that huge toothy smile in the pictures? That is one happy rocker chick! I had never seen Shinedown in concert before, but the opening band, RED, I have seen 2 other times and I really like them as well.

Lucky for me I am a connected girl and know a lot of the people putting on the show so I got a few perks. For instance I got the lead singer of Shinedowns autograph (YAY!). And what did he sign? HIS all access pass (double YAY), so that meant that I gained access to use the real bathrooms behind the stage instead of the stinky port-o-potties. Other perks included a few free drinks and VIP standing area so we could actually see the concert!

The concert was so amazing and half way through Shinedown brought out a special surprise which turned out to be a full orchestra. Now let me back up just a tich and mention this is a FREE concert...with an amazing band who just brought out a full orchestra. How cool is that? It sounded so perfect. Of course I knew just about every song and was rocking out just as hard as I know how to. The one disappointment was that they didn't play their cover of Lynard Skynards "Simple Man". So I am just going to put the video up instead.

*SIDE NOTE:
On American Idol last season, David Cook sang the Shinedown version of Simple Man live on stage. I was freaking out when I heard it and I must admit, David Cook totally nailed it!

Go College Girl! Go!

I started school last week. I am taking 2 classes - Humanities and Math. I wanted to take 3 classes but was not able to get into ANY of the required English classes. I tried 17 different classes! On-line classes, early morning classes, night classes, this campus, that campus, showing up in person, all to no avail. So, just 2 classes 2 nights a week 3 hours each.

This is a picture of me laying outside the college on the grass reading my first assignment for Humanities. So far I like college. I like having different and new things to occupy my thoughts. For so long dating and playing have been the center of my attention, so this is a welcome change of pace. Even though at this particular pace it may take me 5 years to get a 2 year degree, at least I am in the game! I feel quite proud of myself actually.

When excited Russians make lists.

I am going to California in 10 days. Look out Sunny Orange County because I am not coming alone! I am bringing with me a crazy beautiful Russian Queen bombshell named Karina who happens to be one of my very best friends! You will know it's us as we will be easy to spot. Just look for the two 6 ft tall tan women talking with fake British accents and hitting on surfers while running on the beach and taking pictures.

Below is a list of "To Do" and "Not To Do" that Karina the Russian sent me today.


To do:
1. Run on the beach in the morning
2. Soak up the feet in the sand and take a picture of it
3. Shopping
4. Eat Healthy!
5. Experience California night life
6. Flirt with a local surfer/sexy man
7. Have a fake accent .... British...or pretend we r French on one of the nights we go out
8. We'll have to do something that we've never done before... surfing or something in that nature! Create a memory maker!
9. Lay on the beach and Tann and look sexy as we do it!
10. Be smart! Don't talk to creeps!
11. Take A LOT OF pictures!

Not to do:
1. One night stands
2. Eat like a pig and buy sweets from every corner!
3. Get married.

*Add if you can think of something.

We are only there for 4 days...I hope we can fit it all in! Oh, and I should note that Karina the Russian has also requested that we throw ourselves a going away party before we go. I swear to you there is never a dull moment with her and I absolutely love her for it!

I'm a rocker damn it!

I just got home from the amazing town of WENDOVER! Yeah, not too much that is amazing about itactually, but I still managed to have a great time. It's like a very miniature Vegas. I was there for a photo shoot of sorts on the Salt Flats along with several other women (no there will be no pictures posted on this blog or any other for that matter). The photographer organized a carpool. The driver of the car I was assigned to, bless her raving little heart, only listens to techno house electronica...(whatever you want to call it) music. As soon as I get in the car the driver asks if I like electronica music and being the polite person I am I say "sure, it's cool" and it is...in the right circumstances or in small doses. So for the 2 hour drive up, the 20 minute drive to and from the salt flats, and the 2 hour drive back home it was nothing but umpst umpst umpst on the speakers. I am happy to report that I am now safely home in my apartment and Aurora and I are listening to the new STAIND album as loud as possible so that the Gods of rock and roll do not put a curse on me! Oh sweet screaming lyrics, guitar, base, drums...how I missed you!

I'd like to offer a special shout out to my virtual blogger friends who are now becoming my real life friends. You all decent people and I am no worse off for having met you. ;)
Much love to Doni for organizing things and to Sarah, Kel, and Helmey for attending. I look forward to running into all of you again in the very near future!

Flipidy Flop Flop Flop

Know how some times you stop and think, hey, my life is pretty damn awesome! I have a lot going for me, my heads on strait, I'm in control of my destiny, I have great friends and family and a whiny cat that loves me. I'm taking on college even though everyone is 5 or 10 years younger than me I am still going to kick butt at school cause I rock! I'm in good shape, I've got a modeling gig of sorts this weekend and its sunny and beautiful outside and I've got a job that pays the bills and I'm going on vacation to CALI baby in 2 weeks and gosh darn it LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!? Then out of nowhere you get a text from your x-husband who has been, up until recently, your best friend for the past 10 years saying "Happy late birthday" only 2 weeks late when he has never forgotten before and you made it a point to wish him a happy birthday ON his birthday and then all of the hurt feelings you have been suppressing deep down inside come rushing to the surface and you find yourself crying alone in the bathroom but you are not crying just because he finally remembered, you are crying because he is engaged and living with his soon to be wife and her 3 kids and he killed your old dog, well he gave him to the humane society so you don't really know, but the point is that you trusted him to take care of that dog and then when he offered to let you say goodbye to your dog you couldn't even take him up on it so now your dog Winston keeps visiting you in your dreams and more and more emotions start flooding to the surface and you are asking yourself am I going to start my period? Where are all of these emotions coming from? What is my deal here? Then you choke back the tears, clean yourself up and hide in your office so no one sees that your eyes are red.

Ever have one of those days?

Yeah...me too.

Spiderman Lunch Box and a Thermos of Vodka

Oh Billy Madison, I will be singing that song all day now. If you can do it - I can do it too!

I was on the phone a couple of days ago with a vendor who happens to be an old boss and a friend. She asked me what's new in my life. So I told her I am going back to school. She immediately got all giddy and started rambling on about how proud she was of me and then, laughing, she asked if I had my matching lunch box and thermos. We both started laughing hysterically at the thought of me skipping into class on the first day with my Wonder Woman lunch box. Then we decided that sense this is "grown up" school, the thermos needed a big girl drink and should be filled with vodka. I told this story to Karina the Russian Queen and she said that it had to be a Spiderman lunch box because, well...it's a long story. Let's just say that Spiderman is our hero. We like what he is throwing down. Plus seeing Karinas' son get all excited and act like Spiderman always makes us giggle.

Let the stress begin!

When I was younger and married and working for a high strung boss, I had a lot of anxiety. I would have panic attacks quite frequently. I went to the doctor and the doctor said "let's get you medicated like the rest of the state of Utah". I thought doctors know best so I started popping the little pills he prescribed and became NUMB! Instead of having highs and lows, I now felt...nothing. I decided I didn't like feeling nothing so I quit taking the little prescribed pills, switched jobs, got a divorce and have been doing just dandy. Oh sure there are still the occasional sleepless nights, but they are few and far between. That is, until last night.

I had just finished a lovely dinner with lovely company who brought an even lovelier bottle of Argentine wine. I went to bed and should have slept soundly, like I normally do, but instead I tossed and turned all night having twisted demonic dreams and waking up with the feeling of a huge heavy weight on my chest. The only logical explanation for this unwelcome interruption into my nights sleep is that I am nervous about starting back to college this week. When I finally got out of bed and stumbled into the shower I thought, "Dammit! This is just the beginning. I love my sleep! I don't want to part with it! This whole education thing better be worth it!" which of course only added to my anxiety. But you know what? I know it will be worth it. It's an investment in myself and my future. I guess I just need to learn how to breath and maybe do some meditations or something. But then again, if that doesn't work, there are no shortage of doctors, pen in hand, ready to prescribe me more of those little mind numbing pills.

Hiking brings out the warm fuzzy feelings.

I went hiking yesterday up Little Cottonwood Canyon. At the very top of the canyon, past (or maybe inside of) Alta Ski resort, there is the Sunset Peak/Albion Basin loop and it is a killer! I'm talking serious hard labored breathing here. Although I was in the group that made it to the top first, I really felt like keeling over and dying. But the pay off at the top, as always, was worth it!



The group I hike with are all real down to earth cool people who would rather shop at REI than Nordstrom. I fall somewhere in the middle but am still considered the token girly-girl of the group. That said, I am no where near the girly girl that most of my friends are. For example, one of my best friends, Karina (the Russian Queen), decided that for my birthday she would buy me a hat because she knows I like them and I wear them when I hike. Where does my beautiful friend go to buy me a hat? Why BEBE of course! The hat is actually perfect for me. It makes a statement that I am a designer hiker (or something like that)...only problem is, the group I hike with has no idea who BEBE is!

I got home from trekking my stylish self up and down the mountain, sore and exhausted, and decided to whine a little to my sister.

Text conversation:

Me: OMG! My hike was so hard tonight! I am so freaking sore from working out too! I need an ass massage!

Sis: You aren't suggesting that I do it are you?

Me: LOL! Yes...why else would I text u that?

Sis: Well I'm flattered but...

Me: Dang it! Where's a man to use when u need one?

Sis: I know right? We need a man on call at all times!

10 minutes later

Me: Speaking of a man on call...I just go a call from Sven (my Swedish love, not his actual name though). He is in Vegas right now :(

Sis: Well that's still too far...we both need to work on finding someone within a ten mile radius!

Me: LOL! They exist???

Sis: Um...I don't know!

Me: It might be an urban legend...but I guess there is no harm in trying?


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how single women think, or at least how they text.

Meet the Neighbors

At what age do you stop caring what other people think? In Utah, there is no age. At least that is the case with my parents. They love me, they accept me, blah blah blah. It still doesn't change the fact that they feel they need to put on an act in front of their neighbors and friends.

Last night, after a frustrating experience with a college counselor, I went to pick up my sister Staci, who (bless her heart) still lives with my parents. Our plan was to leave her daughter with the "rents" and go to the gym for an hour or so. I get to my parents and they are in their neighbors backyard for a BBQ/neighborhood get together. I begrudgingly walk back there to find my sister, cursing her under my breath for not answering her phone. I walk back and of course my parents feel the need to introduce and embarrass me at the same time.

Dad to group: "This is my other baby, Summer."

Group: Fake smiles and nods of acknowledgment.

Mom to group: "Yeah if I could only get this one married off I'd sleep easier."

Group: Polite chuckles and nods of understanding.

Me: "Thanks mom." Polite but forced smile to the group. Tassel moms hair and give her the evil eye.

Neighbor lady: "Well if either of you girls are interested in a single attractive 30 year old - let me know."

Staci and me: Keep the forced smile, giggle, look at each other and quickly excuse ourselves.

In the car after several shudders trying to shake off the experience, Staci proceeds to tell me that I had it easy. Apparently when they were trying to sell her their sales approach was a bit more of a comic routine. With Mom saying she needs to start liking boys as more than friends and Dad saying as long as the guy skis he will due. Staci doesn't like me writing about her because she is "private". But that is more about my parents than her...so I'm justifying it...a little.

I guess when it comes down to it, I understand. I am not mad at my parents because I have played that roll and know what it is like for them. When all of their Mormon neighbors are talking about their kids who served a mission, graduated from college, got married in the temple and now have 2.5 kids, it's easier for them to take the humor approach then to tell them that 2 of their daughters are divorced and one has a child out of wedlock! 3 single daughters and not one of them active in the church! If I was them, I wouldn't admit to it either. But, it's OK. I know that when the neighbors aren't around and they say their nightly prayers, they will say they are thankful for all of their children, even if we have broken out of the Mormon mold.

Mad (Wo)Men

Mad Men show description:

Set in 1960s New York, the sexy, stylized and provocative AMC drama Mad Men follows the lives of the ruthlessly competitive men and women of Madison Avenue advertising, an ego-driven world where key players make an art of the sell.

I work in advertising. It is an incredibly thrilling, corrupt, perverse, twistedly beautiful industry to work in. At times I love it, other times - not so much. I have a very "old school" boss. Actually "old school" does not accurately describe him, but if I have learned anything from Dooce, it's to keep your blogging description to a minimum when it comes to bosses and companies. So for the purpose of this post he is "old school".

Anyway, my "old school" boss has been encouraging all of us to watch the AMC series Mad Men. I have been meaning to get around to it for over 6 months and then I found out that Comcast was making it entirely too easy and offering it "On Demand". So sense I was still recovering from my birthday celebrations I decided to have a quite stay home weekend with my TV.

I watched the first episode and at the end of it I was in a foul mood. The way the men treated the women! The way the women allowed themselves to be treated! The arrogance! The Good Old Boys clubs! The cheating bastards! Calm yourself, I thought. You can't judge the show off of just one episode. So I continued to watch. I watched 12 episodes this weekend. I had made myself a "to do" list for the weekend, luckily Watch Mad Men was on it, otherwise I wouldn't have accomplished a thing! I think it was after about the 3rd episode I decided that I was officially hooked. I stopped being mad at the show and instead reflective and greatful. I started thinking about my Grandma ("Hi Grandma") and what it must have been like to be a young woman in the late 50's early 60's. I guess if it is all you have known, you wouldn't really know to be offended. Now days womens rights are pretty much established. Sure there are still some "old school" people out there who haven't fully embraced them, but for the most part we are treated as equals and better yet, we are finally aware of our own worth! We know that anything a man can do, we can do, and a lot of the times we do it (gasp!) better. I wonder if I would have survived back then. I am such a stubborn independent free thinking woman now...would I have been capable of being a passive-aggressive "whatever you think is best dear" type of woman? The thought sends chills down my spine and makes me so greatful to the women who fought the system and helped form the world into the place it is today! Thank you strong independent women! Thank you Grandma! Thank you Mom! My hat is off to you indeed!

Sweet Sweet 28

Another year older.
My wonderful friend Heidi asked me at the beginning of last week what my plans for my birthday were. To which I replied - no plans whatsoever. To Heidi this was unacceptable so she organized a birthday get together with all of the girls. Here are some pictures from the festivities.

The good...the bad...the reunion (not in that order)

This picture is me at age 17. Don't I look innocent?
Well I let my curiosity get the best of me. I caved! I went to my 10 year High School reunion and let me tell you, it wasn't that bad. OK it was a little bad and I was looking for an excuse to leave almost as soon as I got there, but I managed to stay for most of it. As I mentioned in my previous post it was held at our high school, which is a little lame, but the school has been remodeled so it was cool to see inside of it. They served the grown up but still oh so Mormon equivalent of cookies and punch, had a slide show of high school days complete with the sound track of late 90's music, and even played a game of "who has the most kids?". I had the same conversation about a dozen times of what I have been up to for the past 10 years. People still resorted to their old clicks of friends and it was truly like old times where they kept to themselves and I kept to myself which was alright because if we never talked in high school, what could we possibly have to say now?

I did have the chance to reconnect with a few friends that I am quite happy about. In fact, I invited my old friend Trisha to go out with me that night to a birthday party. It was crazy how much we had in common. We are both divorced with no kids and very career oriented. As the night went on we found out more and more we have in common. In Utah women like us are a rare breed, and rarer still because Trisha lives in Vegas!

Ms. Trish, Me and my friend Andy. It's not very often you get 3 brunettes in a picture in the land of milk and honey!

So now it's time for a (hopefully) short rant...
WARNING: Men are not to be trusted!
That same night we went out, much to my surprise, Mr. Larsen was there. I hadn't spoken to him in 4 or 5 days but he knew that I would be at this party. I wasn't really upset or excited to see him because I had been thinking about calling things off but wasn't sure exactly how to because he was never my boyfriend - just the guy I was dating. Anyway, he decided to do me a HUGE favor. Early on in the night I excused myself to find some of our friends and left Andy (who was dressed to kill) sitting next to him. Since Mr. Larsen has a thing for younger women, especially ones in short skirts, he proceeded to hit on her and ask her out but said not to tell me or our friend Karina! The nerve! So of course Andy comes right out and finds me and tells me what happened. Yuck! What a slime bag! Honestly, who do you think you are? Did you think she wouldn't tell me? I surround myself with friends who are incredibly good people.
So, to all my single gals out there, always remember that trust is earned. If you see a red flag in the beginning - do not ignore it!
Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest.

High School Reunion?

My 10 year high school reunion is tomorrow night and I still have not decided if I should go. I can make a good argument either way, and I have been over and over in my head and out loud every time someone is dumb enough to ask me what I am doing this weekend. I am sure they are expecting a simple answer but instead I ramble on and on about the pros and cons as they are inching their way towards the door saying "OK Summer...sounds good...I've gotta get back to doing nothing in particular now".

I keep thinking (with a big sign) "I'll make up my mind later" and I still have not. So now I am wondering how many of you have gone to yours, and was it a good or bad experience?

Here is my rationalization for not going:

1. If I wanted to stay in contact with these people I would have.

2. I don't want to answer the question "so what have you been up to the last 10 years" (or ask that question to anyone else!).

3. Most of the people that I know will be there are married with 2.5 kids and then we are back to the whole Utah mentality of poor Summer, don't worry one day it will happen for you too because your life can't possibly be complete the way it is now! Actually, thank you very much, I am fine with the way things are.

4. I don't have a date. Not that I would be so mean as to put another person through this kind of an awkward night should they not be legally obligated to. Karina did offer to be my date and said we could tell everyone we are a lesbian couple just to get a reaction, but that would put this on the positive list now wouldn't it?

5. It is being held at the high school.

6. There will be no cash bar.

Here is my rationalization for going:

1. I don't want to look back and wish I would have gone.

2. I am still hot and thin (oh so humble too!). What can I say? Time has been good to me.

3. I have a nice life and even if it is different from what 90% of my graduating classes lifes are like, I am rather fond of it...perhaps even proud of it.

I'll keep you posted as to what I decide to do and I look forward to hearing your feedback and stories about your reunions.