Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Meet the Neighbors

At what age do you stop caring what other people think? In Utah, there is no age. At least that is the case with my parents. They love me, they accept me, blah blah blah. It still doesn't change the fact that they feel they need to put on an act in front of their neighbors and friends.

Last night, after a frustrating experience with a college counselor, I went to pick up my sister Staci, who (bless her heart) still lives with my parents. Our plan was to leave her daughter with the "rents" and go to the gym for an hour or so. I get to my parents and they are in their neighbors backyard for a BBQ/neighborhood get together. I begrudgingly walk back there to find my sister, cursing her under my breath for not answering her phone. I walk back and of course my parents feel the need to introduce and embarrass me at the same time.

Dad to group: "This is my other baby, Summer."

Group: Fake smiles and nods of acknowledgment.

Mom to group: "Yeah if I could only get this one married off I'd sleep easier."

Group: Polite chuckles and nods of understanding.

Me: "Thanks mom." Polite but forced smile to the group. Tassel moms hair and give her the evil eye.

Neighbor lady: "Well if either of you girls are interested in a single attractive 30 year old - let me know."

Staci and me: Keep the forced smile, giggle, look at each other and quickly excuse ourselves.

In the car after several shudders trying to shake off the experience, Staci proceeds to tell me that I had it easy. Apparently when they were trying to sell her their sales approach was a bit more of a comic routine. With Mom saying she needs to start liking boys as more than friends and Dad saying as long as the guy skis he will due. Staci doesn't like me writing about her because she is "private". But that is more about my parents than her...so I'm justifying it...a little.

I guess when it comes down to it, I understand. I am not mad at my parents because I have played that roll and know what it is like for them. When all of their Mormon neighbors are talking about their kids who served a mission, graduated from college, got married in the temple and now have 2.5 kids, it's easier for them to take the humor approach then to tell them that 2 of their daughters are divorced and one has a child out of wedlock! 3 single daughters and not one of them active in the church! If I was them, I wouldn't admit to it either. But, it's OK. I know that when the neighbors aren't around and they say their nightly prayers, they will say they are thankful for all of their children, even if we have broken out of the Mormon mold.


Smart Went Crazy said...

trljethe most disturbing part of this is: who the fuck throws a bbq/party on a monday? its family home evening, and that babe is reserved for drunk scripture mastery!

Salt City Mistress said...

OMG, honey I totally know exactly what you're talking about. Except my mother is usually doing the polite nod and smile right along with my sister and I whenever her sisters start in on us. Out of her four sisters, and all of their kids, only one of my male cousins has stayed with his male partner, all the others are divorced at least once, some of them twice - go figure, must be Utah.