Don't Invite Red Headed Sluts to Russian Birthday Parties

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARINA!!!

My lovely BFF, Karina the Russian had a birthday! Every year her birthday is a time to celebrate. This year by comparison was a lot more toned down than last years 5 day long celebration, but still an amazing time complete with the most important things: friends, food and cocktails.

The standard pre-party picture.

Staci and Codi

The girls! I love when they put me in the middle.

We were all so happy my babe ED could make it... that is until he invited a Red Headed Slut to join our party...

That bitch makes things all sorts of crazy!

Karina I love you so much! We have been through so much in such a short time. I hope that 27 (the second anniversary of your 25th birthday) brings you all the love, passion, success and "moments" you deserve! Thank you for always being there for me. You'll never know how much it has meant to me.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

PS - no actual Red Headed Sluts were hurt in the celebration of Karina the Russians birthday party. They were however consumed by way of shots

Hola! Me amos es I'm going to Mexico Bitches!

I have some very exciting news! I'm going to MEXICO! Si! Es true. In 2 months I will be laying on the beautiful white beaches of the Riviera Maya with my babe ED.

We have been talking about taking a trip together in between summer and fall semesters. Both of our birthdays are in August (Leo's rule! Rawr!) and it will be the big 3-0 for ED, so we figured what better way to celebrate than by spending 6 days and 5 nights plastered in a foreign country.

We booked our trip Sunday night and of course I had to text Karina the Russian to let her know that it was really happening.

Me: OMG! ED and I just booked our trip! It's official work out, tan and save money like crazy time!

KTR: Yeah! That is so cool! OK, I'm going to start working on your to do list!

So the "to do" list is something Karina gives me before I leave on any and every trip I take. It started when we went to California last year and she made me pretend to be from England and flirt with local surfers. Then it continued when I visited ED's parents for the first time in the country and "have sex in a barn" was on the list. The most recent list came from my trip to Zions National Park where I had to scream from the top of my lungs that I was the queen of the world, much to EDs ultimate embarrassment.

KTR: 1st! Find a hot pink taco and eat it!

KTR: 2nd! Have sex in a sombrero!

KTR: 3rd! Watch a donkey show!

KTR: Drue (random new guy friend) says you need to bring me a grain of rice with my name on it too. Oh, and eat a bacon wrapped hot dog from a street meat cart!

Me: Um... we are not going to Tijuana... we are staying at a classy place!

KTR: Don't worry, I'll have more for you later. I'm watching playboy Hef and he has a new girlfriend named Christal!


Seriously I can't help but love that girl!

If you have items to add to my "to do" list for Mexico, preferably one's that don't involve donkeys or eating questionable food, let me know.

Gracias!

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Damn Doctor Knows Best

Over the weekend I disobeyed the doctors orders and it felt great! That is, until Monday morning.

Friday I went to the X96 Big Ass Show with Karina the Russian. I was a lot more behaved than I was last year when I was running around getting my picture taken with every rock star I laid eyes on. But, when you have VIP tickets which give you access to free beer.... it would have been a shame to let it go to waste.

A few of the bands I really enjoyed watching were The Airborne Toxic Event (seriously in love with these guys! If you don't know who they are watch THIS), Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and of course Offspring. Offspring was the headlining band and they tore it up! It was so funny to watch Karina looking at everyone else sing along to the songs. "You don't know this one?" I would scream over the crowd. Then she would look at me with her of course I don't know this one I'm from Russia bitch look. I would of course laugh and she would tell me how she was going to take me to Russia and laugh at me when I didn't know the bands who were playing.

The next morning Karina and I went to brunch. I had coffee and the most amazing crab Benedict served over cornbread with an avocado relish. I'm drooling thinking about it again. I kept marveling as we sat outside on the patio at how I really felt OK. All of the symptoms from last week seemed to have magically disappeared. How amazingly wonderful for me!

Saturday night I went to 2 barbecues where the food, margaritas and wine flowed freely. I felt great and had a wonderful time. Then Sunday came along. Damn you Sunday. Such a fun wrecker. I studied for over 12 hours trying to make up for all of my play time then I had a stress induced anxiety attack.

So now here I am, back where I started. Taking several over the counter meds and eating bland foods. Apparently when they talk about school being a sacrifice they are not kidding. My body is telling me I can no longer play like I used to plus handle the stress of work, school and finances. I think it sucks. I think I SHOULD be able to handle it all. But sadly, superwoman left the building a long time ago.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Park Lunch With the Russians

I was tired (and by tired I mean too busy trying to catch up on my DVR shows) last night and didn't get a new post written. I decided to bring my laptop with me to work so that I could write on my lunch break. So, since it's lunch time and since I am sitting in a Russian owned coffee shop plus I have these adorable pictures I have not shared... here you go!

My darling BFF, Karina the Russian, often joins me for lunch and brings along her (our) 2 beautiful Russian children. On this particular beautiful spring day last week, we decided that lunch should consist of pizza at the park. The kids couldn't have been happier with this idea.

We soaked up as much sun and grease as we could. Karina commented on how it was so beautiful that you don't even need to close your eyes to "create a moment". Creating a moment is something we often do. You simply take a bite of food, shut your eyes and focus on simply being in that moment closing out all other thoughts. We even do this with the kids so when Dimitri heard his mom say this he promptly spoke up, "nut-uh! Mom you have to close your eyes to create a moment. That's how you do it!"

Not to be out done, little Pasha decided to teach us a lesson as well. Although she is better at letting us figure it out for ourselves rather than telling us. So what did we learn? Do not, under any circumstances, share a drink with a 2 year old child - especially one who is eating pizza!




Blogfully yours,

Summer

Please do not report me for animal abuse

Truly, I had the best of intentions. You see, I have been getting my cat Aurora shaved 1 to 2 times per year for the past, oh I don't know, 4 years. I started out taking her to a vet/groomer where my best friend Jenn worked at the time. They would sedate her and she would wake up looking like a lion. It was awesome! But after Jenn left the vet and the "friends and family" discount was gone, we decided to start shaving Aurora as well as Jenn's cats on our own.

For some reason last night was the night that I felt she HAD to be shaved. Only problem was, Jenn has the fancy-shmancy professional clippers and she was not available. So I decided to pick up a pair and give it a whirl myself, and by myself I actually mean with the help of Karina the Russian.
I know I look evil in this picture... But believe me, we are both MUCH happier when she is shaved. I get to de-hair my place and she gets loved a whole lot more due to the fact that I don't get a handful of hair every time I pet her.
Truth be told I'm lucky my neighbors didn't call to complain once we got started. Cats are not easy to wrestle, even if they love you, they do not want to be restrained (go figure). Ultimately I think the problem was that I only spent $35 on clippers. They gave out about 2 strokes into the hair cut.
But we kept on trying...

Poor kitty looks like a cross between a chemo patient and a road kill victim. I feel like the mom who cuts her kids hair crooked and makes them go to school anyway. Good thing she's a cat and can't feel embarrassment or she might hate me forever.
I sent this picture to Jenn and she felt sorry for my cat and is coming over tomorrow to help me finish shaving her.
Thank god for friends who are willing to help you shave your... cat.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

*Please note that I did not make one dirty joke throughout this post. I'll leave that for you.

Dream Fasting

The other night I went over to Karina The Russians house after I got out of school. I had a long day and really missed having some quality BFF time. We put her (our) Russian children to bed, opened a bottle of wine and started to share our days with each other.

Somewhere, near the bottom of our first glasses of wine (Russian style to the brim), something remarkable happened, we started "Dream Fasting." Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about! Really? Seriously? You have no clue? OK fine! I'll refresh your memory....

So you know the cult movie from the 80's, The Dark Crystal? Remember? Yeah I thought you might. So there is this scene where the guy Gelfling character, who for some reason is named Jen, meets a girl character while he is stuck in the mud. She reaches out and gives him her hand and BAM! they can actually see each others memories from the time they were little! Jen asks her what is happening and she tells him they are "Dream Fasting."

THE SAME THING TOTALLY HAPPENED TO US! I kid you not! I have all these images of sweet little 7 year old Karina walking through snow up to her waist in SIBERIA wearing 3 pairs of pants and with scarfs wrapped all around her face so that only her eyes are showing! I see the beautiful icy frost patterns on the windows! I see her grandmother! I see her neighbor checking in on her while her mother is away for weeks at a time! I can see her walking her (at the time) emotionally unstable mother to and from work! I can see them tricking her father to sign to let her come to America! I can see everything and it is wicked cool!

But then wait! What is it that Karina is seeing? It's little Summer walking home near a field smelling something funny burning. WHOSH! Now she is walking from school singing songs to angels and talking to Jesus. WHOSH! Now she is overhearing her elementary school teachers reporting that "she has her head in the clouds." What now? It's tween Summer in braces with the first boy to hold her hand. WHOSH! WHOSH! There she is finally recognizing the impact of one family members dark secret and then slammed with a sad realization of anothers!

Whoa!

What just happened? Did Karina slip me another roofie? Was there hallucinogens in the wine?

No.

We totally f'ing "Dream Fasted."


Blogfully yours,

Summer

Russians say it best

One of the things that I love about my best friend Karina the Russian is that she has no filter. She always says exactly what is on her mind and uses the word vagina more than a gynecologist. She is one of my biggest supporters (a fact that she is very vocal about), she spells words how they sounds and she is constantly revealing parts of the story that I am leaving out. Her crass comments leave me in stitches on a daily basis so I thought I'd share some with you!

"A cautionary Tale"

"Everyone else is doing it"

" Kicking 8.5 miles in its mountain ass"

"I'm positively positive"

"The year for my girls"

"Environmental Dating"

"Happy 2009"

"Worlds greatest TV show: Crotch Mafia"

"Tacky Christmas Party"

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Damn cat! Damn Boyfriend!

A while ago Karina the Russian and I decided that the one good thing about having an albino retard cat (Bodie), was that we could blame him for everything. House is a mess? Damn cat! No food in the kitchen? Damn cat!! Stub your toe? Damn cat!!! Start your period? Having a bad hair day? DAMN CAT!!! It has been an ongoing joke for a while now, especially over text messages.

"I've been running around all day. So tired. No gym. Damn cat!"

"Gonna be late! Damn cat! Be there in 20."

"OMG! Is this some kind of f'ing joke?? 3rd day I'm turning on the radio and Hoobastank is on AGAIN! F@*%ING CAT!

And my personal favorite, sent from Karina while trying to navigate the Denver airport.

"Did you know Island 3 and Island Street sounds the same to a Russian person?! Damn cat! I already made a few people laugh here!"

So Wednesday night ED came over. We both decided to put homework on hold and just have a quality stress free night together. We watched The Daily Show, The Soup and American Idol (Salt Lake City auditions) while munching on Kettle Corn. We cuddled on the couch, we laughed, we relaxed. It was perfect. To two busy college students, it was a slice of heaven. Before we were going to call it a night I said "Oh no! I didn't get a new blog post written!" He told me it was OK and that I could blame it on him and just say "No new post. Was distracted. Damn boyfriend!"

Boy is he going to regret saying that! Now that I have his permission, I have already come up with several ways to fully take advantage of it: I have nothing to wear. Damn boyfriend! My apartment is a disaster. Damn boyfriend! I'm late for work again. Damn boyfriend! I'm out of beer, wine AND vodka? DAMN BOYFRIEND!!!

Not quite the same as "Damn cat"... IT'S BETTER!!!

I'm so going to be single forever...

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Going Green

I'm changing my stance. Environmental dating, on the rare occasion, is not such a bad thing. In fact, I am quite pleased with the results. Don't worry, I'm not going to get all sappy about liking a guy... I have Karina to do that for me.

Karina: So how are things going with you and ED? What did you guys do the other night?

Me: I like him! He is pretty freaking adorable. He came over and we had a study date... where we actually studied! I didn't realize that was possible! He was all studying at the table and I was all at my desk, then we would take a break to kiss for a second, then study some more.

Karina: OH! MY! GOD! You guys are like the hottest sexiest nerdiest couple EVER! That is so freaking cute! Oh honey! Wait... is he like your boyfriend now?

Me: Um...

Karina: He totally is! That is so cute! Honey I am so happy for you!

What can I say? He gets me. I get him. He gives me a case of the butterflies and makes me smile that big goofy smile when I see a text or get a call from him.

I can't believe I am actually posting a picture of us. It will probably be the kiss of death. Don't be surprised next week when I post the breakup post. I'm jinxing myself... but look how cute and happy we are are! How can I resist sharing him with the internet?


Blogfully yours,
Summer

Small Lake City

For a week strait my BFF Karina the Russian has been talking about how we need to go to Sundance. Not that we need to watch one of the films, but that we need to go to a fancy party and meet celebrities. Unfortunately the weekend she could get a sitter was this last weekend and from what I hear, all of the celebrities went home after the first weekend. Minor details to Karina, we were going to go out and have a good time damn it!

Karina called all of her connections and we were set to get into the Ed Hardy party at Harryos... for free ($100 door cover)! That is until 10 minutes before we were going to head up the canyon to Park City. I guess our connection decided that he wanted to stay in Salt Lake instead. My heart sank. UGH! Another night out in Salt Lake! But, ever the optimists, we decided that we were already all dolled up so we would go out.

I gotta tell you, going out in Salt Lake has lost it's appeal. I must be getting old or something. You see all of the same people, hear the same music and have the same night as you did the time before. Speaking of seeing people, it was like a convention of past suitors for both Karina and me. Suitors is such a horrible word, but I can't think of a better one. Luckily for me, ED was there to thwart them off. Poor Karina saw a guy that she really fell hard for until he disappeared off the planet. Luckily she looked smoking HOTT and I think he felt like an ass for ever letting her go. Serves him right.

Anyway, I am giving up on going out for a little while. Don't worry, crazy things will find me without bars or alcohol. I just seem to have a knack for finding crazy.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Worlds Greatest TV Show: CROTCH MAFIA

With a name like that, it can only mean one thing. That's right, it's time for another installment of Karina the Russian stories.

Like a lot of the ladies out there, Karina and I are big fans of the nighttime soap opera shows containing similar plots about girl power, friendships and all the quirks that come their way, i.e. Sex and the City, Cashmere Mafia, and our recent favorite Lipstick Jungle. The other night we were watching one such show, when Karina turned to me and said, "you know they should really make a show about us! I'm serious! Think about it, 2 friends, one is a sexy successful business woman advertising person and the other is from Russia and manages a hair salon. Man, the drama I have to deal with with those bitches is enough to write it's own show. Plus we get into trouble no matter where we go and we are always having adventures and man troubles. We can call it 'Crotch Mafia'!!! Oh. My. God. It's perfect! I'm serious honey, we can make a lot of money on this. Somebody who would be smart, would make a show about us."

I laughed and told her "yes, but in those shows they always have some rich guy chasing after them and trying to sweep them off their feet and that is just not happening for me."

"YET! It's only because you haven't met the right man. That asshole is out there somewhere taking his sweet ass time."

Of course the "crotch" in "Crotch Mafia" is a reference to my greatest and most bizarre complement. It has kind of stuck though. If I am ever having a down day, just say "sexy crotch" to me and I can't help but smile. Plus it's fun to say. I recommend complementing all of your girlfriends by telling them they have a sexy crotch area. See what they say. I bet they will never forget it.

DISCLAIMER: Telling someone they have a "sexy crotch" is done at your own risk. I claim no responsibility for any negative reaction such as a slap to the face, knee to the groin, or getting dumped. However, if the reaction is positive, please feel free to send them a link to my blog.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

It's Official!

I am "officially" in a relationship with my BFF Karina the Russian. I suppose it was only a matter of time. I can't even tell you how many times we have been asked if we are "more than friends." Well now, thanks to the postal service, there is proof that we are in fact "more than friends."

Our first piece of mail together! To my family Christmas party no less! I was worried they wouldn't accept my new relationship... I am so happy to see them embracing it with open arms! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that even though we are "officially" in a relationship, we still are not lesbians. That's probably helping with the whole acceptance part. Honestly I think it would be great if we were lesbians, we already make such a cute couple and all. But, sadly, we are both big of fans of the penis so until the penis fairy comes around we are content to have our non-lesbian, best friends relationship.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Corrupt Christmas Carols

Christmas songs get old really fast when you have heard the same ones your entire life. I have gotten to the point where I pretty much know every song played, word for word, without even thinking about it, yet alone the meaning behind them. Where am I going with this? Why am I writing about Christmas songs?

The other day I was driving in the car with my BFF, Karina the Russian. One of the trendy "top 40's" radio station decided to play a re-mix of the old classic "Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer". Now I have heard this song countless times, I am pretty sure we even sang it in Elementary school for a Christmas concert. It has always been just a silly, funny, harmless song. That is, until I saw it through Karina's eyes.

Karina: "Are you listening to what this song is saying? This song is so messed up! Are they saying what I think they are saying? Listen!"

"She'd been drinking too much eggnog and we begged her not to go. But she'd left her medication and she stumbled out the door into the snow."

Karina: "Oh. My. God."

"When they found her Christmas mornin' at the scene of the attack, there were hoof prints on her forehead...

Karina: "Seriously!"

"and incriminatin' Claus marks on her back. Oh! Grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa we believe."

Karina: "In Russia they don't have songs like this. This song is seriously messed up. Very bad. How freaking rude and crude is that? Instead of worrying about grandma they are believing in Santa? I mean that is just wrong. That is a traditional song? What is wrong with you people? That is just sick and wrong. If my grandma got ran over by a reindeer I would not be singing about Santa. Seriously American people are so weird."

She continued on like that for quite some time. I was practically rolling in my seat from laughing so hard. Mostly because she is right. It IS a pretty morbid Christmas song.

Luckily the remixed version of the song, with all it's electronic drum beats, stopped there and mixed itself on to a different song. I'd hate to think of what Karina would have thought if she heard the rest of the song go on to talk about Grandpa watching football and drinking beer or the dilemma of opening Grandma's gifts or sending them back. I'm sure that would have made her completely loose faith in Americans forever!

What did this whole experience teach me? Something about being desensitized to music, numb to the holiday hype, oblivious to the obvious... one of those I'm sure. But more importantly, it taught me about priorities. If my Grandma ever gets hit by a reindeer, I am hunting down that fat man in a suit, along with his freakishly gifted reindeer, and making them pay. Maybe in the form of extra gifts such as designer purses, clothes, and trips. But regardless...

He. Will. Pay.

Blogfully yours,

Summer

Friday Night with Hoobastank

Friday night Karina the Russian, my sis Staci and I went to the X96 Nightmare Before X-mas concert featuring Anberlin and Hoobastank.

Somewhere around 6 years ago, Karin the Russian had met the guitarist for Hoobastank while working for a hotel. She has often talked about him and how much she wished that she had returned his call way back when. So I suggested to her to reach out and contact him (through the lovely myspace world) to see if he remembered her, which of course he did - vividly! Long story short, we ended up hanging out with the band before they went on stage, we stood on the side of the stage while they played their set and partyed with them at the unofficial after party. Needless to say, Karin is "in love"... again. Unfortunately we didn't bring a camera and didn't think to take many camera phone pictures so this is our only "good" picture.

The band(s), their technical people and their friends were all amazingly cool. It's safe to say we had a VERY good time. I'd like to say that I have gotten to the point where I am not star struck by rockstars, but sometimes I still am. For example, I couldn't get up the nerve to go over and say "hi" to the lead singer of Anberlin. I LOVE those guys! In fact, 3 years ago I actually got to meet them, but for some reason I lost my nerve completely. He was sitting maybe 15 feet away from me too! Guess it didn't help that I was a little tipsy and they are a "Christian Rock" band so I am not sure if they even drink or not. Regardless, I just kept picturing making an ass out of my self by saying something stupid like "Hi! Remember me? We met 3 years ago. I LOVE YOU! I have all of your albums - memorized! Let's get married and have lots of rockstar babies!" then security would inevitably be called and they would have to pry me off of him and the whole time I would be screaming "I love you! Call me!" while shouting out my phone number.

Regarless of my chicken-shit-ness, we did have a lot of fun.

Rockstars, motocross guys, tour buses, Doritos, VIP section, lots of laughing... you know, our typical Friday night out.


Blogfully yours,
Summer

Frankenstein gets an A

Conversation with Karina the Russian:

Me: "Guess what honey? I just finished taking my math final and...you're never going to believe this, but I got 100% on it which also means I am going to get an A out of the class! The teacher graded our finals as soon as we finished them. It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and down in the middle of class! Can you believe it?"

Karina: "Oh my god! Honey that is so fabulous! You are such a little Frankenstein....or....um..."

Me: laughing

Karina: "Einstein! You are such a sexy little Einstein! You are like, the sexiest nerd I know! I bet all of the college boys have to put their books on their laps when the sexy nerd walks into class! I'm so proud of you honey! Seriously!"

Me: "I freaking love you!"

Karina: "I love you too my sexy-crotch-Einstein-college-girl!"


I have completed my first college course in over 7 years. My first math class in over 10 years! I am actually very impressed with myself. Honestly, I have never been an A student. I was more concerned with boys or working or being a social butterfly. I suppose the difference this time has to do with maturity or perhaps discipline levels. Maybe it is the fact that I am paying for the classes and I'll be damned if I will let that money go to waste.

No matter what the combining factors are, I got my first college A and it feels great!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Breaking and Entering

Last night Karina the Russian and I decided to hit the town. We got all dolled up together and she offered to drive, which was perfect because my car is not registered due to my bad habit of buying clothes & groceries instead of a new windshield which it needs to pass inspection. So I decided I didn't need to bring ALL of my keys, just my house key. Since I was wearing jeans I just stuck the lone key in my pocket and off we went.

As anyone who reads this blog is probably aware, good times always happen when the two of us are together. We get to the club, walk in front of the VIP line, don't pay a cover, say "hi" to all the peps (it's Salt Lake, you are bound to run into people you know wherever you go) and start having a good time.

Somehow, during the "have a good time" part of the night, my key managed to travel somewhere outside of my pocket (shocker!). I ended up spending the night at Karina's and it wasn't until we were sitting at breakfast that it dawned on me to check if I still had my key, which of course I didn't. I called my sis to see if she still had my spare key, and she didn't. I start freaking out until Karina asked if I left my porch door unlocked. I say "yes, but it is on the second story and there are bushes all around it."

Did that stop my beautiful, resourceful, cat-like, Russian friend? Did it detour her from thinking she could do it, even for a minute?

Of course not.

Lessons learned today would include the following:
1. Make sure someone reliable always has a spare key to my place.
2. When going out find a more reliable place to put house key (like a purse perhaps?).
3. Lock balcony doors from here on out at all times.
4. I would be completely lost without Karina, never loose her as a best friend.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

An Explanation for my new son

I asked Karina the Russian what we will tell our new adopted son Bodie the cat when he grows older and asks where he came from. Her response was simple and too the point.

Karina: "He has two mothers and possibly one Dad! It's like a typical Salt Lake City family! First mom and dad are a strong religious couple then they split up and mom becomes a non-lesbian."

Logical enough. Just so long as he knows he is loved. That's what's really important.


Blogfully yours,
Summer

Running for puppies...and a kitten too

A few weeks ago I went running for boobies with Karina the Russian. Saturday it was time for me to collect on going to her charity run by dragging her to my charity run...at 7:30am. The Squatters Chasing Tail 5K Fun Run for the benefit of UAATA (Utah Animal Assisted Therapy Association). I have helped with the marketing and PR (pro-bono) for the run for the past 4 years.
The turnout was amazing, their best numbers to date! Which is awesome because this is the one event that keeps them funded for the year. All participants in the "fun run" were welcome to bring their dog(s) with them. This was a little hard for me this year because I no longer have a dog. I also ran into my ex-sister-in-law, which was a little awkward, but it was nice to see her.
Karina and I chose to take advantage of the "fun" in "fun run" and walked the course. After the run they give out awards and have a raffle. There was a gentleman trying to find homes for some kittens he had found. Karina took one look at a beautiful white kitten, named him Bodie and we took him home.


Karina, Bodie and I went to the pet store and bought all of the essentials. We joked about him being our first kid together. We took him home, gave him a bath (he stunk! It was a necessity) and showed him the lay of the land. I'm a little nervous about his health, we won't know how healthy he is until later this week when Karina takes him to the vet for his first time. I hope he is healthy...I think it would seal the deal of me never having a human child of my own if my new feline child doesn't make it!

Blogfully yours,
Summer

Single for the holidays blows

The time of year that all single women dread is coming up; "The Holidays."

I dwelled on this thought a little too long this weekend. I let my mind wander to the huge family Thanksgiving dinner as well as the Christmas celebrations with all of my relatives. The thought of being the only single one there, while my sisters and cousins all chase around their kids, makes me want to stay home and pull my fingernails out instead. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family. I just don't know if I have the energy to fake a smile and say the obligatory lines of "yep, still single. No, not really seeing anyone either. Yes, one day I'm sure I will find him. Yes, I realize I'm not getting any younger. Here is some salt, can you please rub it in this open sore?" Smile and repeat with the next well intentioned relative who is just trying to be nice.

Then there are all of the work related parties and New Years. New Years! I haven't been single on New Years in over 10 years! Somebody shoot me now!

Of course I called up Karina The Russian to listen to me bitch.

Karina: "Summer, Christmas is not about being with someone with a cock and balls! It's about being with someone you love. I will be your date! You don't need a stupid man!"

Me: "Yeah but you are dating someone now so you are going to want to spend the holidays with him. Which I totally understand."

Karina: "No, he is not my family. YOU are my family. We will make cookies and drink wine and sit by the Christmas tree and stare at the beautiful lights!"


While I was fishing for sympathy, I also told Sarah how I woke up feeling really low. She told me next time I felt that way to drive over, climb in bed with her and we would watch movies and drink wine in bed.

Basically I've decided to quit bitching for the time being because really I'm incredibly blessed to have such amazing, beautiful, understanding, supportive friends who are always there. They get me. They understand that wine and friendship can get you through anything, including the holidays.

Blogfully yours,
Summer

New couple on the block

My darling BFF, Karina the Russian, has met someone and has fallen, once again, in love. Truth of the matter is, he is actually a really decent guy and as of today, I approve of him. She has told him however that entering into a relationship with her is also entering into a relationship with me. She and I have learned from several past relationships that full disclosure is the best way to go. So she explained to him that boyfriends have accused us of being lesbians when in fact we are the ultimate non-lesbian couple. Putting it into a Russian analogy, which always has to do with food, she explained to him that she is the wine, I am the cheese and he can be the grapes.

I asked her via text message if she would mind if I told the internet about our new relationship and she said "Hell yeah!" I told her I would be putting her wine analogy in, to which she responded, "Yes, but its got to be that French wine, with that French Cheese and the big grapes!"

Apparently, without my knowing it, I have graduated from a non-lesbian couple to a very high class non-swinger relationship. The relationship may be sex-free, but at least I'll be well fed.

Blogfully yours,
Summer